A Date With Helga

Well I was on the couch on Friday night, watching the movie of the week Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. If you haven't seen the movie, the protagonists meet on a train in Europe, and decide to get off the train (at his destination) in Austria in order to continue their nascent conversation and to test the chemistry developing between them. The catch is that he is to fly back to the States the following morning.

I admit to being the kind of person who makes comments throughout a film, TV program, news report, whatever, and Friday night was no different (even though I am in this house alone). I told the girl not to get off the train. I told her to walk away from that guy (he was so annoying), and I told her not to trust him. I told her so many things, that I realized that if she took my advice, she too would be sitting alone on a couch on a Friday night in a European capital...

So, deciding to do the opposite of what my Super Ego would have me to do, I committed to going out on Saturday.




My 'date' began with a trip to the Nobel Peace Center museum. As you may know, the Nobel Peace Prize is given out here in Oslo (the prize for literature is given out in Stockholm). This is an amazing, state of the art museum built in what used to be a train station. Apart from the permanent collection, there was an exhibit featuring 40 artists from around the world, and their commentary on global warming. Also, there was a fantastic exhibit about the 2006 Peace Prize winner Muhammed Yunus and Grameen Bank who provide small loans and financial counselling to the poorest (mostly women, of course) of Bangladesh. I'll tell you, I was so taken by this man's work, and so angry about the perpetuation of poverty in the US. Yunus said to Fortune Magazine that they ask for no guarantee, no references, etc. Consider this, Grameen Bank has lent out close to 6 billion dollars, and has a repay rate of almost 99%!

Afterwards, I walked around Aker Brygge, the 'boardwalk' of Oslo. As this was a fairly nice day, there were lots of people out. I had a delicious hot dog!


Then, I took myself for champagne and dessert at the great French bakery Pascal (they actually made my wedding cake...the cake was excellent!). Since the hot dog was so cheap, I figured I'd splurge on the champagne (I do watch $40 a Day)! I sat outside and tried to develop some ideas I have for this dissertation chapter, and otherwise tried not to look too uncomfortable on a first date with myself...


Well, the evening hours rollled around, and I knew I would have to take myself for a drink and dancing. This was the scariest part. But, did I mention that I've been working out? I felt good about putting on makeup, tight jeans, these red shoes from Filene's in Boston, and working this braidout! This is about as big as I can get my hair to go, but I thought I looked good.

I read about an old school hip hop show, so I figured that would be a great place to get lost. I wasn't sure what Norwegians meant by 'old school,' but, I haven't been to a good old school show in Cali unless it is jumping off from my own iTunes library! Anyway, these are the lessons I learned about going out alone:

1. Be selective (read point 2).
2. Men are quicker to approach a woman alone (men are sooo shy!), but be careful (I did NOT make eye contact with anyone on the street (read point 3)
3. Making strategic AND effective eye contact is much easier when one is alone in a bar, restaurant, or nightclub.
3. It is easier to get into the club for free when you are alone (even the kindest, flirtiest doormen have trouble slipping in a group of 4 girls).
4. As soon as a good song comes on, get on the dancefloor and enjoy yourself. Hey, you are already in the club alone, stop worrying about what other people think!
5. Don't accept a ride home from a man revealing his handcuffs and discussing his expertise in martial arts. Scary!
6. Focus completely on your good time

PS. By the time I got home (3am), I realized that I am totally over the club scene...

Just This..

And that's all I have to say about that, humph!

A Walk in the Park

Finally, a little sunshine! I thought I was over it, but yes, I 'gikk paa tur' (went for a walk) on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.

A few observations while walking through the amazing Vigeland's Park (named after the incomparable sculptor Gustav Vigeland):

1. There are many more interracial couples in Oslo than ever. It sure wasn't like this when I lived here. Also, it has been far more common to see Norwegian men with women of color.

2. It is much more common to see people of color all over the city and working in every capacity (rather than being confined to the eastern side of town and low-profile jobs as was the case a few years back). (This does not contradict my previous post).

3. PDA does actually make single people on a sunny day in Oslo feel lonely, sigh.

4. Seeing all of the mom's pushing baby carriages does make newly-single-women-without-their-daughters want to make 'baby talk' with all the little ones in the park!

5. Sunbathing nude in a public park that is also a major tourist attraction makes tourist photography very challenging indeed. (BTW I was not sunbathing nude....).

6. There is alot of beauty in Norway.

Negrophilia?

Walking around Oslo I am taken by the use-value of blackness. In a recent interview, the queen of Norway stated that integrating Norway's 'new countrymen' is an important and difficult task. But how exactly should people be 'integrated?'

(BTW: The caption next to the man in heels reads "Who in the world still travels to Ibiza?," and the quote about 'black' is from a Swedish modernist painter/sculptor).

Hilsen fra Norge!

Greetings from.... Norway! Yes, I am literally chilling out way up North. But no need to fret, I am able to eat such delicious chocolate at my leisure. I have been complaining to my family about how hungry I am here. It is extraordinary, the Norwegians are very active people. Everyone is walking and biking, and looking down on people who drive too much or refuse to go for long walks (preferably in the mountains) on the weekend. As I no longer feel the pressure to participate in those outdoor rituals, I am free to eat as much chocolate as I can... and this chocolate is excellent!

The rain has not ceased since I arrived. I knew that summer in Oslo could be either incredibly warm, or very cold. As optimistic as I am, my scaled down clothing selection for this trip only included one sweater and one long-sleeved shirt! Here's hoping that the sun comes soon.




Mostly, I spend my time working out on my dissertation, or at the gym (pictured below). I was shocked to enter this amazingly modern health club, it was a bit like a postmodern Clockwork Orange. They have one room full of treadmills, with the lights turned down, and a huge screen showing pictures of people doing sporty things. It is sooooo spooky! But between eating so little for breakfast and lunch (people generally eat a bowl of cereal or toast for breakfast, and more open-faced sandwiches for lunch), and hanging out at this postmodern gym I'll be a
-1 before I get back, HJELP!



The other interesting thing about Oslo is that it is one of (if not THEE most) expensive city in Europe. Not only is there alot of money here, everything is outrageously expensive. For examples: I spent 5 dollars on dental floss, 5 bucks to ride the bus, and 2.5 buckaroos for that delicious chocolate bar featured (completely devoured) above. Another interesting fact is that alcohol in Norway (like Sweden) is owned by the State (yes, that means that all the revenues from Absolut Vodka go into the State's coffers!). Excluding beer, all alcohol must be purchased here:
This is me and my baby outside of the Vinmonopolet (yes, just as it sounds, The Wine Monopoly!). As I have budgetted very carefully for this trip, I purchased all of the wine I allotted myself for the three weeks (what amounts to 3 bottles... c'mon, literary scholars must have their wine...). Anyway, three bottles=60 bucks! The good thing about the monopoly is that people are actually able to purchase very good wines for less than their normal price, precisely because The Monopoly buys in large quantities. Because of the control of liquor, Norwegians drink very little alcohol during the week, and dinner parties (rather than eating out) and 'pre-partying' (rather than drinking excessively in bars all night) are very important. Nevertheless, beware on the weekends, around 11:30 many people are fall-down drunk!

Moving on....
This is a great shopping street in Oslo in one of my former stomping grounds (there was also a brief moment of sun which made the excursion quite pleasant). There are sales in EVERY store right now, and I am so tempted to lose it. I promised myself that I would make no purchase until my final week (to keep myself in check) and when I have seen what the latest fashions are. Unfortunately, 98% of the women here are still sporting the peg-leg jean! Darn. Apart from the fact that I sported that style in high school (yes I am dating myself), it is not a look that suits me. I hate that. Otherwise, in terms of fashion, this is a 'hip hop' nation.... more on that later (after Saturday's reggae concert! Did I mention that The Game is performing here tomorrow night...?).


Finally, this is a picture of a ring I bought for myself en route to Scandinavia. The only special thing about it is that I liked it, and it was purchased as a reminder of self-love during this crazy re-visit to Norway. It is very difficult to come to a place that holds so much (good and bad) history for me, but I am thankful that I am such a different person today.... and I've got my sisterlocks!

Gimme a Shot!

As promised, I have taken some photos to show my hair progress up to date. For me, the first year with sisterlocks has been great, I do feel so much freer and more myself without those (gorgeous, stunning) braid extensions. In the US, people have responded so positively to the change (one of my friends said she wanted to cut her hair short after seeing my new style.... she obviously didn't realize the seemingly unending pursuit of length, but she was, afterall, giving me a complement;-)

This is the first time my former in-laws are seeing my hair in sisterlocks. One brother-in/out-law said "you changed your hair." His mom said, "you changed your hair." Admittedly, I am having a couple of bad hair days here in this rainy weather (yes, the rainy weather even makes my locks droop), but I have told them all of my commitment not to hide behind hair. I'm not sure they got it...


At any rate, I am content (I was even asked on two dates here, yes y'all, as Lupe Fiasco says, I am still on my pimp! That is a joke people...).

Anyway, I still have not figured out how to take a decent picture of myself, but ask the ladies from the sisterlock gathering in the Bay, I am cute, I swear.

I am looking forward to the second year, I can see from other people's blogs that things really take off during year two!

Yikes! Look at day 2, front and back!

5, 6, 7, or 8?

Yes, I have been tagged, but in the interim, the number of things one is to share about oneself has grown. I shall begin my list and see how far I get!

1. I was the first black cheerleading captain at my high school. I am not exactly sure what kind of feat that was, but it is true nonetheless. Although I was involved in cheerleading all four years, I now regret not having done something that I could have continued to use later in life, like joining the tennis or golf team. (I am also excited for Venus). Also, high school was the time when I started wearing hair weaves (sorry, all pictures are at my parents' house). Man, that was tough back in the late 80s, no India Arie in sight!

2. In the sixth grade I misspelled the word 'therapeutic' during a regional spelling bee (my best friend was eliminated for the incorrect spelling of 'mesmerize'). I still haven't been able to watch the movie Akillah and the Bee for fear of traumatic flashbacks! Looking at the caliber of words young people have to spell in the bees these days makes my error way back when seem even more pathetic!

3. I was tatooed by a Danish sailor. This is nothing to be proud of, but it does sound stereotypical in a way. BTW I am not in Denmark now, though I am in Scandinavia.

4. I am a music fanatic. I have an appreciation of almost everything from classical, to folk, rock, R&B, hip hop, and especially music from Spain, parts of Africa, and Latin America. As a child I was moved to tears listening to my mom's gospel albums. When my father found me crying by the record player, I tried to explain that I wanted to be in the record. My parents took this to mean that I wanted to be a musician, but the truth is that I wanted to be IN the music (a very hard concept to explain at such a young age). At any rate, I have played four different instruments (clarinet, piano, flute, bass guitar, and 3 months with the guitar), but I am still moved by someone like the incomparable Prince explaining that he IS music. Deep!

5. I am hispanophile. I have studied Spanish since I was 14, and as an undergraduate I participated in EAP to Madrid. I am crazy about that country and travel to Spain often. Apart from that, an important part of my dissertation deals with Afro-Latin America and I often tell people that I am from Cuba (when I am in California) or from Puerto Rico (when I am on the east coast).

6. I have 8 siblings! I fall at number 5, though technically I am the baby (who can take that away from me?), as my parents began adopting after me. It is wonderful being from a large family, more so now that we are all grown than during childhood (oh the morning fights over leg warmers and clothes before school back in the day...). You should see how long it takes to open presents at Christmas (there are now 7 grandchildren as well)!

7. I always thought that I would be a professional dancer. When I got to college I decided to major in something a bit more practical, and now here I am, one year away from a PhD and the only rugs I cut are from tripping in my stillettos.

8. I have often joked that if the PhD-game didn't work out, I would go to 'beauty school!'

9. Today is my one year sisterlock anniversary. Pictures of my rag and of this rainy country are forthcoming...

Ch- Ch- Changes...

Alrighty then! The last few months (perhaps 5 since the switch was made to the New Blogger and hence the lack of posting on my part) have been filled with all class of excitement and changes. Thank you to everyone who still came by the blog, I am still an avid reader of everything going on with y'all and your respective sisterlocks! (Ally: congrats on the move; Brunsli: I am feeling you about the studying; and Sunsail: hang tough, family may trip, but you look fly!). My sister Aya has been harrassing me too about updating, and her spirit about the whole locking experience keeps me looking at my hair in the mirror (what a one woman support system!).

I am also proud to say that I have been tagged a few times, and I am eager to share all kinds of outrageous stuff about myself... but that will be another day.

For now, I would like to announce that during the Spring I was awarded a very prestigious dissertation fellowship! Hurray! After receiving so many rejection letters (and after sooo much work putting the applications together) I was successful, and because of that, I decided to move to another California beach town (people here luuuvvv to put the universities on the coast, God bless em')!

After the move who couldn't use a little resort living? I tell you, two days by the pool changes your whole perspective. This time, the little one got to get in on the action at Fess Parker. (And look how lovely they set the breakfast table on our patio.) BTW the white building with the small terraces is the new dwelling, not Fess Parker... ;-)



The other crazy thing that has happened actuallly coincides with my sisterlock journey (so to speak). The day my locks were installed was also the beginning of some very trying legal issues around custody of my beloved baby girl. Long story short, I am now (a year later) on an international trip for her first international visitation abroad. I would like to say that I am not anxious at all about being here, but that would be a big fat lie. So along with getting back into the blog, I am going to write about how things are going over here.

Part of this experience has been about changing my perspective on my self and my life, so the decision to sisterlock was also about letting go of the things (like hair) that I was hiding behind. Also, I love to hide behind nice handbags and shoes, thus this trip is also being accomplished with very little 'stuff.' I decided to pack one dress, one suit, one pair of jeans, one skirt, one pair of slacks, only three pair of shoes, and about five tops (plus clothes for the gym). I am going to post pictures of how the combinations come out. As I am planning to write another chapter during this month-long sojourn (and to workout regularly) I think I may be alright.

These photos are of the beautiful house I am keeping while here abroad (architects have impeccable taste!). The dining room is now my office, and that lovely living room down the hall will be my crashing spot for the next three weeks.



Finally, July 9th marks the end of me being a first-year sisterlocker, so stay tuned for some hillarious before and after shots!

Here I Am!

I am back y'all. Stay posted, a new entry is underway!