Fest Helga (Party Helga)!

So, some good friends and family reminded me of the long list of "To Do's" I made before coming on this trip to Oslo. Socializing and developing some flirtation skills were high on the list! I have come to understand that many people actually do have to learn how to strike up a conversation with new people and how to feel more at ease in social situations. Alas, I am one of those people...

I was invited to a party on Friday with some new Norwegian friends and thought that that would be an opportunity for me to practice my new skills. I have stated several times that getting sisterlocks has meant no more hiding behind hair (at least not for the next few years ;-) So, I focused on makeup! I have been looking at some interesting YouTube videos about makeup and tried to emulate one that seemed pretty cool.

Unfortunately, I did not know how to light myself for the photo, so it just looks like I am glowing. (I later learned that the trick is no flash and low backlighting!). At any rate, I was ready for an adventure.

Needless to say, the adventure began as soon as I got on my bike to pedal down to the train station. I had no curls by the time I got there, and I sweated off my makeup between being socially nervous and hiking up a hill to this beautiful villa. The home belongs to a famous Norwegian artist and had an amazing view of the Oslo fjord (and a spectacular artist studio).

In terms of the socializing, well... People congratulated me on my PhD, which was good. Then they asked what it was about, and that turned out bad. Seems that discussions about racism are not popular party starters. I had to explain to someone that there is no such thing as reverse racism (people of color can certainly participate in supporting patterns or practices of inequality whether they be racist, sexist, nativist, xenophobic, homophobic etc. But that is not "reversing" racism, it is sustaining of it. Usually when people claim "reverse racism" it is to lessen white guilt, to portray racism as a "normal" or inevitable aspect of life, and to de-legitimate the claims of racism that people of color make.). I also had to explain that yes, the pattern of "white flight" (that also occurs in European cities) has to do with race (hello!).

I really don't want to be that person at the party who comes across as a know-it-all or cynic. But I do know of women who are doctors but tell men they are candy-stripers or nurses in social settings. I don't want to go that far with it, but it can be tricky sometimes, (especially when one is looking for a date), to find neutral conversation topics that allow everyone to feel at ease (myself included). In my mind, I am just trying to get to the place where someone says "Why don't we meet for coffee on Tuesday" without having to feel totally put down and objectified. Who knew that a coffee date and ending racism were so closely related?!

My new strategy is to quickly move between work-related topics, and more casual themes. For instance "I analyze the post Civil Rights era and how racism persists in the present (see above discussion of "reverse racism" to understand the complexity!). I am also really excited to see how Spain does against Germany in the championship game on Sunday." See, I am still learning! I'll try this one out tomorrow... stay posted....