Black Etiquette

I've got a question for ya (and unlike Mary J., I don't already know the answer)!

Do you tip your loctician for services rendered?

Given the complaints that some folks have about the costs of establishing and maintaining sisterlocks, people may not want to think about something like tipping. Also, as Black hairdressers, braiders, and stylists may work from home, perhaps the customs around tipping are distinct (I have seen women bring baked goods as payment for a braid job, and I know braiders who offer their services in exchange for babysitting. These kinds of practices make up the 'richness' of Black community and 'value' of Black social networks).

I have also had the experience of being criticized by a hairdresser because I never tipped her (I thought the 300 bucks for the braids was enough). Once I had a hairdresser take an additional 20 from my wad of cash; she felt she was teaching me about the importance of tipping. This woman was a famous Manhattan hairdresser to celebrities (the most well-known, contemporary, Black female songstresses you can think of... yes even that one). She came 3 hours late to our consultation, and 1.5 hours late to our appointment. She gave me a gorgeous weave (I know that sounds crazy), was incredibly talented, and really needed cash...


I also used to get my hair weaved in London, and hairdressers in the shop there also expected to be tipped.

Getting back to the locks: Given my own experiences, I do give my loctician what is probably better regarded as a 'gratuity,' in that it is just a little extra on top of what she charges. It is rarely exactly the same amount, and she has never commented on it at all.

So I'd like to know: do you leave a tip or not? If not, why not, and if so, how do you determine the amount?

A New Relationship?

(My loctician, Chocolata, and My Sister)

Well this is a tough one for me. Along with the move to SoCal comes the challenge of maintaining a long-distance relationship... with my loctician.


I have to admit, I thought about playing the field, stepping out and seeing what was up in SoCal. How could I be so cruel to my first love? You know, a good friend of mine taught me the phrase 'amor de lejos, amor de pendejos.'

Still, I wonder how I could ever start up a new relationship, especially as I would have to start 'dating' on the internet. Think about it, everyone is recommended to go the the sisterlocks website to find a certified sisterloctician. But does the internet every really tell you everything about a person with whom you will have such an important relationship?

If I could be honest, I would say that I want to know:
1. whether the person works from home or in a shop. I have had my hair done in people's homes for years, but this sometimes meant mediating domestic arguments, travelling with my hairdresser to cash a check, rocking a baby to sleep, waiting for the crack smoke to dissipate, and overnighting when the police was chasing a 'suspect' through the backyard. The home/shop issue can sometimes also be a factor for clients with children. Some locticians announce on their profiles that children are not permitted in the shop unless they are being serviced. This kind of information is very helpful when conducting a search for a loctician (and locticians for clients).

2. on average, how long does a retightening take? I know that this is a difficult one to answer, but the variation from one person to another is so vast, that I become very nervous about just picking someone off the net who has a time slot to work on my head. My loctician is amazing and retightens my hair in 3 hrs. I understand (as well as anyone with locks) that the length of time is determined by the number of locks, the amount of new growth, and potentially the number of clients a loctician has had in a day. I am not looking for a definite number of hours, but a working estimate is a guideline that also allows a client to plan accordingly. A visit to a hairdresser doesn't have to be total uncertainty for Black women. C'mon...

3. Does homegirl want to work?! I only received a return call from one of the certified locticians I called... In my messages I always ask if the loctician is accepting new clients. Such information would be helpful on the website, and I presume that the lack of returned calls to my queries was because they were not taking new heads on.

4. shouldn't we, especially during the first years, discuss the direction of my progress? Do we have a similar vision about the future of my hair, how to deal with problem areas, splitting, combining?

5. do you know how to style locks?

6. will you remove lint?!

7. Apart from the practicality of 1-4, the things that I really want to know are, will you walk me to my car if you live/work in the 'hood,' will you be there for me, will you take a genuine interest in the development of my hair, will you be excited about the new growth around my temple, can we talk about LOST, do you love shoes? You cannot know these things from the internet. Any relationship takes time and effort.

So, all of this is to say that I am driving up north today to get my hair retightened by my first and only loctician...

Welcome to My (New) World

Hurray for SoCal living! I am so impressed by the differences between my previous coastal residence and my new one. I am very happily adjusting to this area, it also happens to be the county I was born and raised in. It is sometimes great to return to familiar places, and the fact that my folks are so close means alot to me and to my little one.

Also: I have a terrace accesible from my room! How cool is that..


It's funny, but after a move the only thing I want to do is lie in bed and watch romantic comedies all day. I guess I need to walk around in my robe for a few days in order to mark the territory as mine.

The other thing we are doing to get adjusted is to go the beach daily ;-) This is really helping us to acclimate to our new surroundings! We also decided to get my niece in on the act.

I love pictures that catch small kids unaware! (My daughter was just about to sneeze!). (Look at the hole to the left, those poor sand crabs...)

Coming (Back) To America...

Sorry, I stopped updating my blog while I was away. I actually began producing good material on my dissertation chapter, and I couldn't upload pictures during the second leg of my trip.

To wrap up: I saw lots of locks while in Oslo, but of course, the day I took my camera to capture pictures of all those gorgeous styles, I only saw blonde 80s-style hairdos!

I also tried to capture images of the 'ethnic scene' in Oslo, but I felt foolish taking pictures of other people of color on the street...

I did get some shopping in, and, follower as I am, I bought a pair of peg-legged jeans (don't judge me ;-)

The last week of my trip was spent on 'The Continent' (as the Europeans say), in Germany. My diva sister lives their with her two stunning kids. I also think that my sis has the best head of organic locks in the country (no bias of course).


I also had the chance to complete another braid job while there, this time, on my fabulous niece.

My hair grew alot on this trip! It couldn't have been because of the stress, but apart from lots of new growth, my hair was incredibly dry after a month away. More updates on the hair will follow swiftly...