Diary of a Thin Hair Sister

Norway Updates

2011-11-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

...by the way...

You can see the article I wrote about my summer in Oslo here

Back to School

2011-11-10T22:38:00.001-08:00

Ugh! That is a picture from the first day of school! I look tired, but that is how I felt: excited and tired about the beginning of the school year! Life on fellowship was amazing, but alas, all good things must come to an end. This photo was taken (by me) back in September right before my first 9am lecture as a tenure track professor! Pretty cool. My new office is coming along; so nice not to share my creative space anymore. Remember how I looked when I first got here? The class? Af-Am literature from migration to Black power... I think it's going pretty well...

The next photo (above) is from a conference in St. Louis, one of the coolest (maybe most underrated?) cities around. Always have a blast working and collaborating with my fellow scholars who join me (well, I really join them) for our annual meeting at Wash U. Had to cut my colleague out, but her locks are always fabulous!

Finally, a photo from a more recent conference in B'More. I am smiling way too hard, but I thought that this photo shows the progress of my horrible reddish tint, ugh! I related my hair coloring gone wrong stories about a year ago. Oh, well. I am really digging the green dress...but next time, I will try not to be the scholar having the most fun at the afterparty...! (check May 17, 2009).

Oslo, July 2011

2011-07-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

Thankful that my closest friends and family are safe. Praying for all who have lost loved ones. Hopeful for the beautiful country of Norway and its commitment to pursuing democracy.

5 Years

2011-07-07T08:47:00.001-07:00

(excuse the curler :-D)

(this one is for the good eye makeup!)

It's that time of year again - the moment to celebrate another year with locks! As usual, I am abroad wishing for sunnier weather... but I did want to post a few pictures of the end of year 5 and the beginning of year 6.

Not sure what the protocol is, but I can say a few things about the hair:
1. I have been maintaining my locks for the last three years. A loctician has not touched my hair during this time. I can't say that is entirely positive; I am not good at establishing new locks, getting all the loose little hairs into the lock, or sustaining nice parts. That said, I do enjoy the freedom of not having to travel to get my hair did!

2. I stopped braiding and banding as soon as possible (that means about 6 months in)!

3. I have no commitment to any shampoo or nighttime headwrap. I have only used one shampoo that didn't work for me (it smelled great but made my hair feel like gum; and I am too lazy to tie on a headscarf at night....I used to spread a silk scarf over my pillow...that is lazy)!

4. I dealt with a lice scare last summer. Some of the dramatic color difference you can see in the pictures is due to the lice treatments (both store-bought and homemade...).

5. I have colored my locks twice: once 'black leather' and once 'darkest brown with golden highlights'. Both attempts were a mistake (from my perspective). The dye left my hair feeling drier and much harder to curl, but I did discover Feria's conditioner in the process. I now use that conditioner regularly for moisture just because it is really amazing for locks (my opinion).

6. Yes, I have had more attention from men the further along I go in the journey...

7. I am somewhat disappointed by the slow growth process that is the reality of my hair. Nothing to do about that. I am really happy with its appearance at year 5.

8. When I started the blog, I had concerns about the thinness of my hair. In the last few years people have asked me if I have extensions! Me?! Really?! So, although I wouldn't reject more density, I am very pleased with how much fuller my hair is now.

9. I use perm rods to curl my hair. I stopped with those twisty things long ago! I have also begun curling the top of my head and using large twists in the back (easier to sleep or nap)!

10. My next goal is to invent running and swimming head gear that accommodates locks!!

Stylish Blogger Award!

2011-05-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

I've been nominated for a stylish blogger award by a fabulous napptural, and I would like to thank her for this award. Thank you, thank you Kalia-Dewdrop!

1. Thank and link back to the person that awarded you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award

So, wanna know 7 things about me??

1. I am an assistant professor in a fabulous UC!

2. I have an amazing daughter who inspires me and teaches me humility everyday.

3. I have a newly developed passion for long-distance running. I started only 1.5 years ago, but I have now run four 1/2 marathons, two 10-milers, and one 5k. I am registered for two more! I never thought I could do it, but I am proud that I am!!

4. I don't like raisins or bananas!

5. I am deeply phobic of snakes and frogs...don't tease me...

6. I have 8 siblings (no joke)!

7. For the last one I was going to say either that I have a motorcycle (Ninja 250) or that I have struggled with panic and anxiety.

Sadly, I don't know 15 new bloggers, but I would love to nominate Meikmeika whose blog and recipes I adore!

Paris!

2011-04-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

I had the wonderful opportunity to travel to Paris, France for the Collegium for African American Research (CAAR) conference. My daughter's spring break coincided with the conference, so we had made a nice little vacation of it!

The photo below is from the gardens of Versailles.

...and one gratuitous 'hair' photo from the gardens of the Rodin Museum! (Still dealing with the color issue! Ugh!!).

Happy 2011!

2011-01-14T16:08:00.001-08:00

Here's to all kind of growth in 2011!

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-19T13:00:00.001-08:00

Sisterlocks and the L Word...

2010-10-19T21:53:00.000-07:00

Well it was, perhaps, only a matter of time...

While unbraiding my daughter's hair after our summer vacation, I was aghast to realize that she had contracted lice during the summer holiday! Despite the luxury trip she had been on with her father, the trip to the "summer house" resulted in an international case of lice. When I say 'international' I am not kidding. Kids from 4 different countries ended up with lice as well...

At any rate, my babe was not in any way willing to part with her tresses, so we took the necessary steps to deal with the issue. Sadly, those steps included very harsh shampoo, lots of laundry (daily for 2 weeks), harsh chemical sprays throughout the house, notifying parents around the world, nit-picking twice a day for 2 weeks, encouragement, support, prayers, tears, and more.

We did use the RID kit available at most pharmacies. Unfortunately, the expensive treatment we purchased did not do the trick (it is also clear that the kit is not made with Black or tightly curled hair in mind. The nit-picking comb was mostly a joke on my daughter's hair). At my daughter's open house right before school started, I had to cut short my conversation with her teacher because I saw a bug crawling across my child's head!

I did some research online and learned about some other remedies that work more effectively:

1. Mayonnaise (on dry hair) all over the head for 2 hours. (This suffocates live louse). Followed by,
2. Listerine all over the head for 2 hours. (This kills any remaining live louse). Followed by,
3. Vinegar all over the head for 2 hours. (This loosens nits from the hair shaft). Followed by,
4. Shampoo with Desitin and/or another shampoo mixed with tea tree or coconut oil. (This is a deterrent to new louse).
5. Flat-ironing her hair for 10 days, and nit-picking twice a day (to ensure that no nits remain. I also found that this was more effective for my daughter's hair texture. It made it much easier to see each individual strands and the products used for straightening, jojoba oil or pressing 'grease' y'all, are deterrents for lice because they make the hair strand to slippery for lice to hold onto).
6. Washing sheets and clothing daily for 10 days (again, to be sure no nits remain).
7. Using tea tree oil daily (to repel louse in case another friend or classmate ends up contracting lice).

Needless to say, the thought of getting lice in my beautiful sisterlocks was not an option for me (and I did find a dead bug atop my head after using the RID kit). So I participated in the home remedy. My daughter had a great time slathering me in mayonnaise, but the Listerine and vinegar had a harsh effect on my hair. As you may recall, I colored my hair at the end of May, so after the harsh treatments (and the fact that I am regularly in the sun), my hair is very, very light... almost orange (...yes, some slight exaggeration...photos to follow...).

At any rate, I haven't had an outbreak of lice. For me, the color change is a small sacrifice in comparison to the idea that I might have to cut off my locks (my niece also contracted lice from my daughter, or from the luxury cabin they where they were all vacatioing. My sister has long, traditional locks...No cutting for her either!).

At the end of it all, the most important things I learned were:
1. Don't stigmatize folks with lice!
2. Blacks can get lice! (Wish I had a Euro for all the European parents who told me that it was impossible for my daughter to get lice because of her hair texture....! In reality, the myth is probably promoted by the reality that the products Blacks use in their hair makes it more difficult for lice and nits to hold onto individual hair strands, and that louse are repelled by certain oils).
3. Patience and understanding are learned in various ways!
4. Lice is not gross, just a headache and a hassle to deal with.
5. Lice does not mean having to cut your hair.

Hope this is helpful to someone out there!

...More Summer Pics...

2010-08-09T20:21:00.001-07:00

Oslo

Spain

Germany

...I've gotta buy some non-black clothing!

Another Amazing Summer

2010-08-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

Finally home after the annual summer trip! July also marked my 4th year locked! We made it to Norway, Spain, and Germany this time around, but all the photos are from Spain... So enjoy the photos and keep enjoying what remains of the summer!!

We Made It!

2010-06-21T10:01:00.001-07:00

Well, we have arrived! A mostly pleasant trip to Oslo, completely without incident! The only real problem happened before we left... As you can (kind of see) from the photo, my eyebrows are orange! Do not bleach your eyebrows while enjoying wine at your going away party... Just some advice...

And we're off!

2010-06-17T23:52:00.000-07:00

It is summertime and that means another trip! Stay tuned for updates about this summer's travels! Many pictures and adventures will follow (I hope and pray)! Meanwhile, pray for safe travel and for safety for my daughter and I. I will write and post photos as soon as I arrive. Thank you all for your attention and your beautiful comments.

Much love,
Helga

Yet Another Headshot!

2010-06-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

I still haven't learned my lesson! I keep promising myself that I will hire a professional photographer for "next time," but once again, I got a friend to take a picture of me in front of my bookshelf!

As usual, I continue to be flattered and excited about the professional opportunities coming my way and by the repeated requests for a "headshot!" So, this is the latest installment. As usual, you can compare this photo to the previous years (see May 2009).

New Hair Color; Everybody Wins!

2010-05-31T20:34:00.000-07:00

I did it! Most of the comments to my previous post were in favor of a darker hair color. Most of the people who know me in person thought I should go lighter! I settled on something in between.

Check out the before (above) and afters!

We used two boxes of Ion permanent hair color. Darkest brown with golden highlights! We'll see when the golden kicks in... My sister worked through my hair, squeezing locks with the color solution to make sure that all of my hair was covered. The density of locks means that at least two boxes and thorough covering are necessary for the color to take. We kept the color on for at least 40 minutes before rinsing. I bought the Feria conditioner, which is the absolute best for color treated locks, or for dry locks. I continued to use the conditioner even after my first dye job faded.

I was very apprehensive about coloring my hair (mostly for fear of my hair looking dry or just crazy!), but when I begin contemplating cutting my hair into a bob, I know that it is time for some kind of change... Keep in mind that I have only colored my hair once in my entire life, and that I wore braids for almost 15 years (ya, I am afraid of hair changes!)!

Before:

After:

The Hair Color...

2010-05-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well, not even two boxes of L'Oreal's "Black Leather" could help my locks stay black! I have posted before about my only adventure with coloring my locks, but now that summer (and a loooong vacation) is soon upon me, I am wondering if I should go for it again.

I have been calling my natural hair color "dull rust pipes," but in the sun it is a coppery brown (just to be nice to myself...). (The picture above is my natural hair color). So what do you think, should I go black, or should I try to accentuate the brown?

I will color before I go based on your suggestions.....!!!

Running with Locks!

2010-05-11T20:29:00.000-07:00

Go Helga, Go! Very proud to report that I ran and completed my first half-marathon last weekend! It was also to great to be out there representing Black folks. Sadly, there were only about 10 of us (out of over 2000 runners), but I am hoping that I can use my new gig and newfound love of long-distance running to encourage more African Americans to run for f-u-n!

BTW: I am no "exercise person" and I was not particularly fit beforehand. I can't even say that I "enjoy" exercising. But the feeling of crossing a finish line... there is nothing like it!

No More Job Talks!

2010-04-01T17:33:00.001-07:00

Hello Everyone!

Thank you to everyone who has been following my blog. You may recall that last year I went on job talks all over the country.

I am now happy to report that I will not be going on any more job talks! I had my last one in March and was offered my dream job!

God is good all the time!

The photo below is from my birthday celebration, which was also a celebration of the end of the job search!

Jealousy... ;-)

2010-01-26T14:24:00.000-08:00

My sisters are stunning, and their hair.......!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T15:03:00.001-08:00

Happy 2010, in 3D!

Progress?

2009-11-29T21:11:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity to visit Hotlanta for the first time a few weeks ago. While sitting at the hotel restaurant my colleagues and I could see the swimming pool. I commented on how extraordinary it was to see little Black kids and little White kids jumping into the pool together. It was a sight that wouldn't have been possible 50 years ago.

Thinking about this on my way to and from my hotel, I couldn't help but think about this other establishment: Hooters! 99% of the waitresses working there were Black, but 97% of the patrons were White men... (at least this was the case during lunchtime).

So what do you all think? Racial progress? Integration? A sign of the work still to be done?

Check the Bike!

2009-11-23T14:19:00.001-08:00

Here it is! The new Ninja, and the locks at 3.5 years!

Go Helga!

2009-11-17T14:45:00.001-08:00

...more photos to follow!

I Don't "Die" About the Dye Job

2009-10-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

...thanks Rachel Zoe...

Well, if you saw the photos of my summer vacation, you may have noticed that my hair color is quite dull. Before sisterlocking, I was a longtime braid extension wearer. Whenever I would take my braids down I would notice that my hair color was very dull, but I never colored my hair.

My sister and my good friend thought that it was time for me to do something about the color. I was also looking for a change (I actually thought about getting rid of the layers), so I submitted to the dye job.

We used two boxes of Feria ("black leather" I think). Yes, two boxes! After 45 minutes rinsing in the shower, I emerged from the bathroom looking like, to my mind, a vampire...

The change was stark I think, but after the trouble (and two boxes!), I was stunned by how quickly the color faded. I now have lighter roots and streaks of brown throughout. I'm not inclined to dye again soon, but I would love to hear your dying lock stories. Does the color fade quickly? Do you dye your own hair?

To be fair, I work out regularly so I do wash my hair often. The conditioner that comes with the dye has been the only product I use. My hair is not dry or brittle, and the texture is as before. Nonetheless, I don't think I will dye again until next summer...

Three Years and a Vacation

2009-08-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

Three years came and went while I was on vacation! Unfortunately, my computer also went with the passage of time! So, these updates are late, but it is still summertime!

Once again, I was in Spain and Norway...

Modern art at the Reina Sofia in Madrid...

Again, 7-11 was the place to be for hot dogs and great hair photos!

Hope you are all enjoying your holidays!

Morning Doughnut!

2009-05-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

In preparation for an upcoming conference, I have given up doughnuts for breakfast. BUT, that doesn't mean I can't have a morning lock doughnut!

Now, my locks are unique, so unique that no two are the same length or color! I am laying off of the "thin lock" stuff and I don't intend to focus on another issue here. My only point is that sometimes the unevenness of my locks make styling at this stage somewhat challenging.

Alas, my new discovery...
Well, it isn't all that new. I have seen various YouTube videos and real live people sporting this particular style. When I wore braids someone attempted this look on me using a sports sock...

Thus, I am happy for this recent purchase at Sally's. I bought one for my friends and daughter, but this is the first one I saw that has a color and texture that "matches" my own (my hair texture is not exactly like a Brillo pad...).

Anyway, I took pictures to show the process and a look that works well for (thin and) uneven locks. To make this work, you need the "doughnut," bobby pins (only for ends that won't lie flat), and large earrings (cuz they make updos super chic!). I tried to curl my bangs and the pieces around my face (even though my curl sets only last 15 minutes these days...).

(All those curlers for this?! Those curls just won't hold up!).

Use the doughnut to make a ponytail. With longer hair, the instructions suggest making a ponytail with a ponytail holder, then pulling it through the "doughnut."

Find the center of your ponytail. Put your index finger through to make a little burrow or hole. Out from that hole, flatten your locks against the doughnut.

I now used a ponytail holder, stretching it around the doughnut in order to force the locks underneath.

The stray lock ends you see on the sides of the bun can be hidden away with bobby pins, as necessary. (Even after almost 3 years, you can still see a lot of scalp after a re-tightening...blast!).

Voila! A super chic updo and a delicious "doughnut" for breakfast!

New Headshots

2009-05-17T19:24:00.001-07:00

You may recall that in the fall of 2007 I was asked, for the first time in my career as an academic, for a headshot. I got a lot of great advice about which photo to choose from many of you, but I have to admit that none of the photos I sent were chosen. Instead, two other fellows and I posed for a group picture that was featured in the Department's newsletter.

Take a look at my first headshot.

Fast forward 1.5 years: I now have my PhD and am being asked for a new headshot! The good news is that someone is asking! The other good news is that the photo shoot (gracias a Keen-ah!) gave me the opportunity to compare how different my locks look now.

Amazing eh?! If you have seen the early stages of my locking experience you know that I was very concerned about how thin my hair was. I have mentioned several times that much of the thinning, especially around the temple, was due to what used to be a commitment to braid extensions. Other problem areas were due to a horrific relaxer I got on a whim while on vacation in Madrid (don't ask what possessed me. It just seemed so unfair that I couldn't walk into a hair salon anywhere in the world and get my hair done...)!

Although I don't think my hair has grown so much in the past 1.5 years, I am very surprised by how much fuller and thicker it is.

So know, all I have to do is to choose which photo I like best. I think one of them is a bit "sexier" than the other (definitely the look I am going for), but maybe one is more appropriate. I would love to hear your thoughts, but remember, I am single and looking!

Mommy and Me!

2009-04-07T13:58:00.001-07:00

Finally got around to a Mommy and Me vacation! We didn't go far, but it was another world...

Sea World!

And of course, fine dining (I am doing my best to ensure that my daughter will not be impressed by young men bearing expensive gifts!).

Still Celebrating!

2009-03-07T20:22:00.000-08:00

On my actual birthday, I had the pleasure of having a wonderful meal, cake, and a dance party with my daughter and her two closest friends!

On the following day, I had the pleasure of having a babysitter! I don't think this SoCal town has ever seen so many Black women in one place! We had a fabulous time talking, singing, and dancing until we closed the city down!

Happy Birthday Helga!

2009-03-07T11:59:00.001-08:00

Well, the birthday was actually on Thursday... Will post more pictures of the festivities soon... stay posted...

More Good News!

2009-02-10T21:11:00.001-08:00

A quick post to say that another great offer has come through! Oh, it is sooo nice to have options! Now, all that is left is to find hairstyling options for mid-length sisterlocks!

Campus Visit #4

2009-02-07T12:06:00.000-08:00

...done and done!

I am so happy to announce the completion of my fourth and final campus visit! It has been wonderful to travel all over the U.S.; this is truly a beautiful country. But it is very nice to be done with the intense and hectic travel schedule. I am looking forward to giving my daughter and my students more of my attention.

So far I have received 2 job offers, one which I've already declined. I loved the school and location, but the Department seemed more interested in filling the position than in my scholarship. I want to be truly wanted for me, for what I have to offer, and for who I am. I am also committed to learning this lesson personally and professionally. They say that being on the job market is a lot like dating...

Nevertheless, visit #4 was to the school that I hope will be my future employer. The university is in the Midwest, massive (about 40,000 students), and well-respected. I had my most rigorous, challenging, and intellectually-stimulating interview process here. Imagine the room below full of PhD's firing questions for 40 minutes about my research and methodology while little-ol'-me stands at the podium trying to look calm!

Well, all that is behind me, but it does leave me with one question: given the number of horrible professors out there, how do people get a job at a university?! What do you all think? What are the traits of a good professor?

Tonight, I will celebrate with a good friend, and a group of Norwegians. (I promise to spill that story in a later post...).

Campus Visit #3

2009-01-29T19:11:00.001-08:00

It's me again! This time from one of the most beautiful locations on the Atlantic coast. This place is so chill that they don't even have public benches, they have rocking chairs instead! I fell in love!

The university really tried to seduce me, giving me a hotel room overlooking this beautiful beach. They must have known how tantalizing the ocean is to California girls...

I absolutely fell in love with this place. The folks at the university were great too. In fact, we all had such a good time that they offered me a job the following day!

I am very flattered and blessed. Now, onto the negotiation process!

Campus Visit #2

2009-01-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

This is definitely the closest I will get to being a rockstar on tour! (This picture was also taken at the end of my first day, after 12 hours of meetings, meals, and discussions...)!

Another visit, another cold location! I had a wonderful time in New England meeting with students, faculty, and administrators on this incredibly quaint campus. I had a great turnout for my lecture, and folks were really interested in the topic of "intimate justice," which was the focus of my presentation.

My office would be located in this charming house (if I were to be offered the job here).

And this picture is for my dear friend, freudwasright! This campus is the only US location where Freud lectured. Students love decorating the statue and posing for pictures with him! Doesn't he look chummy?!

Campus Visit #1

2009-01-17T19:15:00.001-08:00

(note to self: not a good angle for minimizing thighs...)

Greetings from somewhere in the South! I had my first of what will be several campus visits this week, so that means all your prayers, thoughts, and well-wishes for the MLA had a very positive impact on my first round of interviews! I had a great time at the conference and really enjoyed meeting the various search committees as well. Such a great time was had by all that most of the schools have invited me for the final round of interviews!

The best part of the campus visit is that the school really rolls out the red carpet for you! Nice hotels, flights, and the best restaurants in their town are their way of making an impression on their finalists. This hotel was only ok, but I had many fine meals and a great time being in the South.

Part of my speech made a critique of "colorblindness" and the idea that we are now a "post-racial" society. It was wonderful to see that Southerners had no such illusions...

Otherwise, the pictures you see here are of post-interview exhilaration! I was so content to be back in my room alone (with no one asking questions) that I forgot to take proper pictures in my suit and looking scholarly. These pictures also show what the snow can do even to an overnight Soft Spike set! I have had to abandon the perm rods I loved to use before. Those curls only last 10 minutes now...

Happy New Year Everyone!

2009-01-03T21:23:00.001-08:00

Wishing you all the absolute best God has to offer for 2009!

Back to the MLA...

2008-12-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

One thing I have been up to this fall is teaching! I have been teaching like a mad woman, as if it were my job... well, it was my job! Along with 30 lectures at the Uni, I also gave 70 hours worth of lectures to a group of Norwegian students. But that, dear readers, is for another post altogether...

As this was during the fall, that meant another round of job and postdoctoral fellowship applications. I probably sent out about 50 apps this year, and I have already received a pile of rejection letters. Mixed in were several requests for interviews, which means another MLA this Christmas. I hate it, I really do. I am already so anxious and ill, this will be the last year that I seek a tenure track job in academia. Just looking at the picture of those beautiful Prada shoes makes my feet hurt, but I will be pounding the pavement, running from hotel to hotel, trying to appear calm and intelligent for the interviews I do have. In this difficult economy I am happy to have interviews, but I am getting too old for this. On average, most positions I applied for received about 500 applicants! With those odds, I should audition for a film role, Lord knows I seem to like drama!

Long Time, No See!

2008-12-22T23:56:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! It has been a minute, but I have been around and looking at all of your pictures and updates! This has been a crazy fall, I have lots of stories... But for now, I am posting a picture from Thanksgiving Day. I like this photo because I am in front of my high school graduation portrait when I started wearing braid extensions! (Unfortunately, I took that picture after I started college!).

Enjoy!

Don't Hate...!

2008-08-08T20:46:00.001-07:00

It would be an understatement to say that the opening of the Brunsli Hair Tie Store in 2006 caused a craze among lock wearers! Not to be left behind, I too purchased what I still consider to be the most beautiful B-li Hair Tie available.

Unfortunately, two years ago my new locks could barely hold a bobby pin.... So I waited....

Cute, eh? Don't hate! ;-)

Look What I Got!

2008-07-21T14:39:00.001-07:00

I bought the special Italian "Black Issue" of Vogue magazine! I am so excited to read it (but not until I get back!). I will have to ask Brunsli for some translation help ;-)

You can read more about the issue (inspired by Obama's presidential candidacy) here and see more photos from the issue on Afrobella's blog here.

I luvs Black people!

Can't Resist!

2008-07-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

We also have to dodge the paparazzi in Oslo!

However, this picture also reveals how desperately I need to have my hair retightened (click on the photo for an enlarged view of my roots, baby!). I have been enlightened by Kalia-Dewdrop's, as well as Amba's, and Blackrussian's respective posts about combining, cutting, or splitting locks. I also posted recently about not being able to capture loose hairs back into my locks during retightening. So I decided that I would return to my loctician after my trip to Europe and consult with her about adding locks to the front and splitting some locks that have become too big. It is just SO hard for me to resist grabbing my tools and working on my own head (it is so pleasurable and my hands are always in my hair anyway!).

It is a bit tricky with me b/c I started with such damaged hair, not from perms, but from excessive tension from braiding and hair extensions. As my hair is recovering from that previous trauma, my locks are really changing in size and sections that were marked by breakage are finally filling in (I sound like an old man). At any rate, this picture shows my need for a retightening and how thick my roots are becoming. (It also shows how cute my baby is!).

In Was Just A Matter of Time...

2008-07-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

You knew it was coming! Yes, my two-year anniversary with sisterlocks is finally upon me, as is the pony tail on my head. I actually bit this off a Norwegian girl I saw today. Hers was combined with a half up-do underneath to catch the hairs that were too short to make it into the pony. I have to say, I have been admiring the number of styles these Scandinavian gals have come up with, especially the ones who have shorter hair. They are quite clever at putting their hair up in all sorts of styles, but the messy bun or pony tail is a favorite. They often use hair accessories that I myself would not use (like skinny hair bands tied sort of 80s style around the forehead a la Nicole Richie, or lots of bobby pins in tousled hair). They are creative. At any rate, big bangs (cut straight across or swept to one side) help their short up-dos look either soft or edgy (depending). But they always look chic.

So, everyone says that the magic happens after the two-year mark. I say: Bring it on! If you don't believe in the "magic" of sisterlocks, compare these photos to my first few months! Admittedly, my hair has grown thicker (as opposed to just longer), and I am so happy for the decision to get sisterlocks!

BTW: I have never colored my hair before. Check the "natural" highlights!

Like Father...

2008-07-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

>

This particular sandal and sock combination can only mean one thing...
My baby has been spending time with her pops!

You can see these sandals flying through the air here...

...tromping over trolls here...

and with pappa's own pair here!

My traveling friends and I have a joke about which of us will begin wearing such sandals during our vacations together! Looks like my Boricua friend is not alone in her preference for comfortable shoes! ;-)

Finally, A Hair Question, or When DIY Goes Wrong!

2008-07-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

So we won't figure out the battle of the sexes that quickly... but I do have a hair-related question:

What do you do about stray hair that won't stay in the lock? I have a few (maybe 4 or 5... ok, 7 or 8) places where a fair amount of hair is no longer in the lock. Now some of this is a result of poor DIYing on my part (the places where I had to pull locks apart that I foolishly combined). But some other places (like in the front) are due to hair that may be a bit more fine. Right now, I think that I will have to see a loctician again to have a proper tightening (I still can't do it as neatly as many locticians can).

So any advice on getting hair back into the locks?

Sisterlocks vs. Men!

2008-07-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you this much, the sisterlocks are winning! I haven't posted so much stuff about the locks lately (but do stay tuned). Tonight I will say that I do love the sisterlocks and that they travel very, very well. Even when one has to get around like this!

The curls don't hold up too well on the bike, but I was still cute when I reached my destination (I brought Freud with me just in case and obviously put on too much deodorant!! I'm a nervous sweater :-0.

I have been planning this for awhile, and I thought that I had done everything perfectly to prepare myself for the evening's task... But alas, I did not count on this!

Once people did show up, I still couldn't open one set! Apart from writing articles and lectures, my objective for this trip was at least one date! It is not so easy, even if the sisterlocks are stunning. No, no, no, I am not bitter. But I do sometimes wonder about why I am attracted to men! The worst thing is that instead of staying in the game, I started observing people and writing down all the reasons why men get on my nerves:
1. A young couple enters the bar/cafe, the woman is in full make-up, strapless dress, and chignon! Even I am captivated by her perfume. Although they speak a foreign language (not Norwegian or English), it is clear that he has been speaking for 30 minutes nonstop! She smiles and giggles on cue.

2. A young couple enters the bar. He is pushing the baby carriage (the dual meanings of "push" are apparent on his face). The woman nurses the baby as the man orders drinks. He buys her something she didn't want or can't imbibe (caffeine, she's nursing, hello!). He looks angry as she turns away from the coffee. She speaks sweetly to the baby and excuses herself to the bathroom. He folds his arms and looks out the window. The baby cannot get his attention, even I see the little one flailing his arms and legs. I hear him shrieking, learning to use his voice. The baby tosses his sock across the cafe. Only then does the father look down. The woman returns from the bathroom, she ignores the baby's smiles, his feet on the table, his pushing the table and knocking over the drinks. She talks to the man exclusively. The man smiles.

3. A young couple enters the bar, only the man arrived first. He is already tired of waiting when she finally arrives. They work on their respective laptops, but she is careful to include him in what she sees, what she is reading online. She gets up unannounced and walks over the bar. She orders two iced coffees, two glasses of water, and carries two brown sugar cubes in her hands back to the table. She sets down the drinks. A moment passes. He finally looks up and silently acknowledges them.

4. A couple enters the bar. She is dressed in white, walking so eagerly and so proud that she outpaces him. The extra step she has in front of him gives him just enough time to look back at me, lock eyes, and to smile.

Of course I am only catching a glimpse of someone else's life. Of course I am obviously interpreting out of my own jaded-but-not-wanting-to-be-jaded perspective. Of course, anyone in a relationship sometimes wishes the partner would disappear. And of course I should be focused on my own business. I get it.

But does anyone speak honestly about relationships anymore (hey, I did indulge the Sex and the City perspective)? I mean, do people ever discuss how they negotiate their desire in an uneven playing field? Ok, ok. I will try again tomorrow. Maybe I should go to the museum...

At any rate, my hair looked good all night. And while Henry VIII is representative of my struggle, I will enjoy this series with the chocolate pudding and microwave popcorn I brought from the US!

Sex and The City (In Another City)

2008-06-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

Me sneaking around Oslo in this hat can only mean one thing:

I went to see Sex and the City! Although I did not expect to bump into anyone I know (going to see the movie in a foreign country assured me of this), I was slightly embarrassed to be at the movie theater to see this particular film. I know, I know, it isn't such a big deal, but I don't even admit to watching the show...

Beyond that, I don't actually enjoy going to the movies. I prefer to watch DVDs at home in part because I have trouble staying awake through a film, and also because I can pause, rewind, and use the bathroom. I am also the type of person who likes to talk through films and TV programs, so this habit really makes me unpopular in the theatre.

At any rate, I did go see the movie (after having a very pleasant salad and the most delicious bread at this French bistro) in public and with a sold out crowd of Norwegian women (and a few girls, to my dismay. The film is totally inappropriate for kids...). When people began to cheer and clap when the film began and when one of the protagonists acquired a dress, shoes, or a handbag, I knew I was in trouble. I did sit through the whole thing, though, and there are a couple moments that are truly hilarious. But if I were to say what is troubling about the film, I'd have to think deeply about my own fascination with it. And that would mean another dissertation chapter... (too tired)...

However, I will reveal the following: the character I looked most forward to seeing looked AWFUL!

Fest Helga (Party Helga)!

2008-06-28T04:32:00.000-07:00

So, some good friends and family reminded me of the long list of "To Do's" I made before coming on this trip to Oslo. Socializing and developing some flirtation skills were high on the list! I have come to understand that many people actually do have to learn how to strike up a conversation with new people and how to feel more at ease in social situations. Alas, I am one of those people...

I was invited to a party on Friday with some new Norwegian friends and thought that that would be an opportunity for me to practice my new skills. I have stated several times that getting sisterlocks has meant no more hiding behind hair (at least not for the next few years ;-) So, I focused on makeup! I have been looking at some interesting YouTube videos about makeup and tried to emulate one that seemed pretty cool.

Unfortunately, I did not know how to light myself for the photo, so it just looks like I am glowing. (I later learned that the trick is no flash and low backlighting!). At any rate, I was ready for an adventure.

Needless to say, the adventure began as soon as I got on my bike to pedal down to the train station. I had no curls by the time I got there, and I sweated off my makeup between being socially nervous and hiking up a hill to this beautiful villa. The home belongs to a famous Norwegian artist and had an amazing view of the Oslo fjord (and a spectacular artist studio).

In terms of the socializing, well... People congratulated me on my PhD, which was good. Then they asked what it was about, and that turned out bad. Seems that discussions about racism are not popular party starters. I had to explain to someone that there is no such thing as reverse racism (people of color can certainly participate in supporting patterns or practices of inequality whether they be racist, sexist, nativist, xenophobic, homophobic etc. But that is not "reversing" racism, it is sustaining of it. Usually when people claim "reverse racism" it is to lessen white guilt, to portray racism as a "normal" or inevitable aspect of life, and to de-legitimate the claims of racism that people of color make.). I also had to explain that yes, the pattern of "white flight" (that also occurs in European cities) has to do with race (hello!).

I really don't want to be that person at the party who comes across as a know-it-all or cynic. But I do know of women who are doctors but tell men they are candy-stripers or nurses in social settings. I don't want to go that far with it, but it can be tricky sometimes, (especially when one is looking for a date), to find neutral conversation topics that allow everyone to feel at ease (myself included). In my mind, I am just trying to get to the place where someone says "Why don't we meet for coffee on Tuesday" without having to feel totally put down and objectified. Who knew that a coffee date and ending racism were so closely related?!

My new strategy is to quickly move between work-related topics, and more casual themes. For instance "I analyze the post Civil Rights era and how racism persists in the present (see above discussion of "reverse racism" to understand the complexity!). I am also really excited to see how Spain does against Germany in the championship game on Sunday." See, I am still learning! I'll try this one out tomorrow... stay posted....

Paa reisefot!

2008-06-25T02:29:00.001-07:00

All the braids are in (and tiny!). That can only mean one thing...

We are on our way to Norway!

We looked smashing as we walked through London Heathrow, but this mother and daughter duo did not attract as much camera attention as Angelina and her brood. No matter, we were feelin' ourselves as we made our way to Terminal 3!

Guess what? It was raining in Olso!

But this time, I am housesitting/crashing at an American friend's apartment while she is in the US. (The place sort of makes me feel like I am in an IKEA commercial...but in a good way...). One of the greatest things about my new home (for the next month...) is that she has lots of DVDs, including the first season of Heroes (which I will be watching as soon as my baby and her dad leave for the mountains tomorrow)!

I still cannot get over the shock of how poor the exchange rate is, but to give you an indication: rather than waiting to buy a pair of hip shoes, I am waiting for the price of Corn Flakes to drop below 8 bucks! (I am happy to report that the gym membership and the first batch of groceries came free with congratulations on my graduation.)

My task for the day (apart from staying awake and away from the bed) is to find an outfit and prepare to meet the former in-laws...

Dr. Helga

2008-06-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

What a weekend! On Friday afternoon I had the honor of participating in commencement. I have to say, it was almost like an out of body experience. I had been to graduation several times to cheer on my colleagues and to remind myself that people do actually finish the PhD.

My beautiful family and many of my friends were in attendance. I intended to write that I was the only Black female PhD recipient with locks there, but I will have to amend that to, I was the only Black female PhD recipient. I am proud of myself, but we still need to encourage other Black students to pursue advanced degrees.

That's why I was most excited to have most of my nieces and nephews and, of course, my daughter there. They are gorgeous (and so is my sisterlocked sister "Aya").

This amazing intellectual and freedom fighter also ended her career at my University last weekend. She is retiring from that school, but her career is far from over.

Congratulations to the Class of 2008! (Where is Helga?)

Did I Really Mean Thin?

2008-05-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

Well, maybe I need to clarify. A few bloggers have asked me about the title of my blog. I started my blog a week after I had my sisterlocks installed, and like many people, I flipped out when I saw how thin my hair appeared. I have explained in other posts that I was a career consumer of hair extensions. I got my first hair weave at the end of 10th grade. Although I helped to make the hair weave sexy, wearing them began a process of me hiding behind hair that lasted until I got my sisterlocks.

You can imagine how long that was...

Although I did not have a relaxer, stress from the braiding and the weight from the extensions also damaged my hair in several areas.

So I ended up with less than 400 locks, if the average 420-450 locks is any measure.

Like most of us who poured over blog photos (especially Leighann's), before the boom in sisterlock blogs, I couldn't wait for my head full of locks. I think I underestimated what the early stages would be like... I do think that using the term "thin" in the blog title may have been jumping the gun, but at least those who see the blog can gauge how my locks are progressing.

The picture above shows how my locks looked after a soft spike set when my locks were just a few months old. The difference is amazing.

The picture below shows an updo from earlier this week. The other picture above shows an updo after just a couple of months with sisterlocks. You can appreciate how much my hair has changed in less than 2 years.

Oh the Soft Spikes...

2008-05-23T10:57:00.000-07:00

In all the discussions about Soft Spikes, Loc Loops, perm rods, sponge rollers, flex rods, pipe cleaners, etc., my only question is:
Is it possible to make a curler that is not too small and not too large? My Goldilocks-quest for the right-sized curler is never-ending.

At any rate, I took pictures of me before the Soft Spikes

And me after

The curls were so tight, I had to put them in a bun (with someone's forgotten jacket...)

The Incredible Hulk Effect

2008-05-22T09:27:00.001-07:00

So another nice non-revision activity is cutting T-shirts. (No make-up on my face in that photo. Love me....). For this one:
1. Lay the shirt flat
2. Cut off the bottom hem
3. Cut another .5 inch off the bottom
4. With the two pieces you have now cut off, you should have two loops. Pull them a couple times to stretch them, then snip each one once so that you have two long strands.
5. Cut off each side of the shirt from the bottom to the top, removing the sleeves in the process. (Remember that you have sexy curves and lovely lady lumps!). You should have something that looks like a smock (or poncho)
6. Make tiny holes about 1.5 inch apart up the sides of the shirt (to the armpit). These holes will be used for threading the shirt together at the sides.
7. With the two long strands, thread the holes on the sides.
8. Try on the shirt and make any necessary adjustments.
* I took a piece of discarded fabric to tighten the area around the collar. Now you two have a stunning, hip, very L.A., rocker T-shirt, and you have avoided revising your dissertation too! Enjoy......

Stick a Flower In It...

2008-05-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

So, the countdown is on... One week until the dissertation is submitted! I am supposed to be revising right now, but, sorry, no more gas (have you seen the prices...ha ha...)!

I am going to try to hold pace with our favorite hair diva Brunsli and post something each day. I think that this will help me accomplish some important things during the next week of finalizing the dissertation:

1. Keep revising to a minimum (why overdo it?)
2. Begin looking for interesting things (on my person) to photograph
3. Read the camera's manual
4. Do something enjoyable each day (that does not include revising)
5. Reflect on revising (without actively doing it)
6. Find a date (hey, how did that get into this list?!)

For example, my dear friends are so creative, they made these pretty hair clips. I stuck a flower in my hair the other day to generate some excitement about Monday. People asked if I was going for a Spanish look. Some said I looked like Spring. Others just looked at the flower stuck in the back of my head. I thought it was cute. The bun is really messy, which works in SoCal, and the lock + flower combination is way cute.

More Advice...

2008-04-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in this City is the perfect venue for celebrating a graduation, and a fabulous hotel to crash in afterwards.

Any suggestions?

It Is Finished... almost

2008-04-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

Hurray! The dissertation is fully-drafted! I am now in the revision stage of things, well, I will be next week. Right now I am figuring out how to just sit around. Granted, I have only been sitting around for a few days, but coming down has been insane. I finally realized how tired I was; I've been falling asleep at 9 pm! I was in the habit of staying up until 1 at least, and I am up early in the morning to get my little one off to school. (I included a close-up just to prove to you how tired I am. Look at that eye-baggage!). At any rate, I can't say that I haven't enjoyed the process.

I have managed to write my dissertation in two countries, in multiple cities, with a small child, through a divorce, and with much support along the way. In fact, I was finishing my last chapter poolside in Pasadena at a very luxurious resort the other weekend. I think I forgot how nice Pasadena is (and how segregated...).

So, during my few days of down time, I took up a much loved hobby (see below). I still need a date ;-)

But if finishing a dissertation and a large puzzle is not enough, I am now onto the most difficult task of my life.... finding dresses to celebrate in! The way I see it, I need a dress for the ceremony (something "Garden Party-ish"), a dress for the night after the ceremony (something sex-y), and something for Vegas (I mean, you have to make memories to leave in Vegas after this kind of achievement, c'mon...). Well, it is a lot more fun to shop for Vegas-stylings, and I found a great shop for that.

Not naming any names, I tried on a bunch of things, and to my dismay, the staff (wearing things that looked like prom dresses and most of the ladies with tattoos), helped me struggle with the zipper. My friend, who had no trouble with her zipper, explained that we were receiving PhD's, but nobody there was impressed. "What did you do? Hmm, so what does that mean?" Fine enough. The problem set in when one of them asked me if I wanted to try the size 10. 10?! Didn't she see me trying to squeeze into a 6? Obviously I am out of touch with reality, what could a 10 do for me (unless she was rating my performance in those high-heeled silver stilettos!). Anyway, once we finished fighting that zipper, she told me, "Spanx are a girl's best friend, that's all you need." WHAAT? I had to eat a burger (with a chocolate shake) just to calm down.

I decided not to mention that I had been seen in public in a bikini the previous weekend! Admittedly, writing 10 hours a day means sitting for 10 hours, and I certainly did have to sacrifice the gym to put in enough writing hours each day. Also, when writing, Vanilla Wafers, Dots, and Doritos (the new blends) are a dissertating student's best friend (not Spanx!). I also admit that college students like beer (or a good wine with a cheese platter if the conversation turns to Bataille, Rimbaud, or racism generally...)...

So, whatever about the PhD, I need to lose 10 pounds, and then I will be sure that I can accomplish anything... (Don't comment on this last line, I am being sarcastic ;-)

One Long Lock

2008-02-26T20:32:00.000-08:00

Man, look at this crazy thing! As if the glasses and the job market weren't enough...

I have a very long lock, and I am just itching to cut it. So, generally people have a lot to say about cutting locks, finding an experienced person to do so, the threat of unravelling, manic habits, and other neuroses. I think I have complained too much about wanting length and needing a haircut, now I just have one lock that needs cutting. I also have a few that never fattened up with the rest that I would like to whack as well.

I am just depressed enough about the job market to risk it...

Be Honest...

2008-02-18T16:42:00.001-08:00

The Highs and Lows of the Job Market

2008-01-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

Well this was an eventful holiday season, apart from the joys of family, friends, and celebrations, I also interviewed for jobs at an annual professional conference.

Lawd, I did not fully appreciate what I was getting myself into....

On the up side, the city was amazing (although my airplane pictures were blurry). On the first day of interviewing I curled my hair and put on a new suit (yes, that is the look of fear and trepidation in my eyes!). I felt somewhat confident as I was leaving my room, and then... the snow began to fall. I quickly learned that in a "windy city" the snow falls horizontally.... I prayed that I would feel God's presence throughout the day, and I was so blessed to receive a great deal of kindness from many strangers. I got lost looking for the hotel where my interview was held, and a bus driver actually took me (on the empty city bus) to the front door of my first interview. I had a pile of snow on the top of my head, but people told me that it looked like I was covered in glitter! Over and over again professors offered me encouragment and understanding about how challenging the interview process is.

Well, my first interview went horribly! I had practiced some pat answers, but I got grilled anyway. Generally, I think, people have two distinct responses when they get nervous:
1. they clam up
2. or they ramble on and on with no end in sight

I fall into catgory 2! At one point I actually had to tell myself not to cry and run out of the room. Although I should have been paying attention to the questions, I was measuring the shortest distance out of the suite....

I called my colleagues back home and practiced some answers to the really tough questions I got (especially about Hegel...) and prepared for the next interview. I was so ready, poised, and still kind (also cute!). The next one went incredibly well, and I left feeling really good. I also met the heads of other search committees who, did not ask me for an interview, but were excited about my work. I went to a reception for folks in my field, and then I crashed out big time (curls gone)!

The next day I had the remaining interviews and felt great about how they turned out. Importantly, I looked great! I really am enjoying the appearance of my locks (even the "news-journalist-style" I rocked during the conference!).

I was left with a fair amount of ambivalence about the profession I am entering. The level of stress, competition, dysfunction, and depression that multiple people spoke of was disheartening. I suppose that every field has its neuroses, but there is something peculiar about academia....

Otherwise, my experience at the conference ended nicely with a great pizza and a Bear victory!

Feliz Ano Nuevo!

2008-01-02T12:49:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

We rang in the New Year at the famous Bacara Resort (don't let the police car fool ya', it is swanky!). Since Oprah did not invite me to her Legends Ball or to her New Year's Eve party, I decided to take matters into my own hands....

We had a great time dancing to a great live band (with a gorgeous saxophonist), and there were a couple of celebrity sightings too (but I have never seen Spiderman, and I don't actually enjoy going to the movies)! Although the champagne was pricey, they did offer fabulous, complementary sweets.

A very kind staff member drove us around the resort, the pool area is so amazing, but at about 400 bucks a night, any overnighting at the Bacara will have to wait until I land a job... or two!

Hope you all had a wonderful New Year's Eve, and are looking forward to a very joyous 2008.

I Moved!

2007-12-13T21:23:00.000-08:00

...not away, just out of my waiting spot! Hurray, the phone finally rang, AND, my email in-box had great news in it too!

Finally I can begin to agonize over what to wear to my interviews (yes, Baby, I am using the plural form of "interview!). No, no more agonizing, I am so pleased over the positive response and the caliber of the schools that have me on their 'short lists.'

I also have a fabulous hotel room, and I am excited to finally visit a place that some consider to be the American city par excellence. Who knows, maybe there will be some good-looking Shakespearians-of-color wandering around the lobbies. Well, if you check out these statistics, you will sympathize with my quest...

At any rate, I am going to enjoy this for as long as I can, of course, there is still the dissertation to finish...

Waiting By The Phone

2007-12-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

I'm not kidding, I am not moving from this spot until I receive an interview (or until that stray lock on the left lies flat)! I am so weary from waiting, but I am doing my best to hang on. If you are on the job market, do not look at the wiki, it is evil! Just wait patiently like I am, staring into space and taking pictures of myself in the office when I should be finshing my article and making myself more attractive to Harvard! Well, I didn't actually apply for a job at Harvard, but still, shouldn't they be calling me, saying, "Hey Helga, we saw your blog and heard that you were really smart. You know, we don't have an opening, but we would like to create a position for you." Of course I would say "no," but then, I would have an offer and I wouldn't have to worry so much about the other 30+ applications I sent out!

There are many exciting things one can do while waitiing by the phone. I have filed my nails, read a book, written an article, revised that article, counselled some friends about relationships, updated my blog, re-tightened my hair (not seen in the picture above), written a poem and two fiction stories, developed an idea for a screenplay, renewed my faith in God, plucked my eyebrows, and started all over again. So really, waiting can be quite productive. It can also teach you about the many skills you have just in case you do not have a job lined up for next year. Here are some career options:

1. sisterlock consultant (but it would be so hard for me to keep the "secret")
2. hair stylist (then I wouldn't have to have any secrets)
3. Hollywood writer (would I also have to start off by going on strike?)
4. cultural commentator (hey, why can't I make my blog my platform into the spotlight a la Perez H.?)
5. world traveller (I promise to post pictures and make comments about what I've done and seen)
6. babysitter (I have lots of experience with my own child!)
7. assisstant professor (oh, this was the list of alternatives)
8. benefactress (any takers?)
9. (see, already out of ideas)

Well, I guess I will continue to wait....

Back to Reality...

2007-11-09T18:14:00.000-08:00

As lovely as a trip to Europe in the middle of Fall can be, I have had to return to the harsh reality of graduating and finding a j-o-b! I think that I have been unconsciously delaying the significance of graduation for many years... as many years as one can continue signing up for school until one comes to the end of degrees to pursue. As much as would like to follow in the footsteps of our beloved Sisterlock Diva Brunsli, I can't imagine beginning a law degree after finishing this PhD. So apart from a real desire to go to 'beauty school,' (later I will share my vision of 'Helga's House of Beaute'), I've got to accept that I am graduating in June.

To that end, I dove head first into the job application process the day I arrived home from Spain. Actually, I did some work while away, writing syllabi on trains and re-formulating my letter of application, CV, and dissertation abstract. Judging from the poll results on Brunsli's blog about what people want to read about, I will keep my comments about the job search to a minimum ;-) Suffice it to say that I sent out 30 applications and several more for postdoctoral fellowships (I guess that is one way to extend the researcher/student phase).

So, oddly enough, the process of having to present myself for assessment (albeit on paper) to schools all over the country made me want a makeover.
I am in my 16th month of wearing sisterlocks and I hate to admit that I too want more length...today! Now, my sister (I won't say which) laments what may be the overfocus on growing long hair that some Black women can be obsessed with. Please, I do not want to debate this, my point is simply to mention the perpetual dissatisfaction that Black women are socialized to have about their appearance and especially their hair.

Having said that... I want longer hair! Ya, I said it.

As stated above, the whole graduation/job search process has certainly brought some (understandable) nervousness to the surface, and I think my first response was to figure out a way to hide behind hair, of all things. I think that this may be what drove a 14-year marathon of wearing braid extensions, and gave me some 'false courage' to do all sorts of challenging, adventurous, scary, new things during that time. Does hair give a sistah courage, I doubt it, but I certainly spent a grip of money buying hair to put on my head as if it did!

So the reality of graduating and being a junior scholar, of having my work and my personality judged for compatibility on a new college campus have a lot to do with my 'hair journey' (if people still use the expression). I know that if I am dissatisfied at this stage, I will be dissatisfied at the next one too, that is the great irony of dissatisfaction (which is actually ingratitude). All this 'being in the moment' talk is starting to make sense...and it is cheaper than buying hair and less frustrating than trying to will hair to grow overnight ;-)

We Also Saw A Lot of Cool Stuff Too! Part Dos

2007-11-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is one final view of Granada's 'white towns.' I also got to stand in the middle, which is a lesson in being photographed that I learned from Beyonce (when whe was one of Destiny's children)!

The previous photo is in front of the famous Roman aquaduct in Segovia. We had to ask a lot of questions to figure out how that thing worked. Basically, it brought water to Segovia from the mountains, and remains today as an example of the Romans' amazing engineering skills (I don't think that mortar was even used to hold the aquaduct together, just the precise positioning and cut of the stones. Pretty cool).

And finally, a view of Toledo from Greco's house (yes, the same as the painting... actually, the painting is a copy of this view ;-)

So after such a fabulous trip to Spain, the only thing I can think about is how much it will cost me to buy an apartment in Madrid sigh.

We Also Saw A Lot of Cool Stuff Too!

2007-10-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

Ouch, I got busted by my travel companions. No, no, no, I wasn't trying to give the impression that the entire trip was about meeting interesting new people of the good-looking male persuasion....
This first picture, for example, was not my fault. Who knew that "police officer" was universal for male dancer, and how could I know that someone was having a birthday in the restaurant? I guess we just got lucky....

Actually, given my last post (about race in Spain), I think I did well for myself while away. I usually engage in political conversations with men who are trying to chat me up; I have since learned that that is a defense mechanism, and I am becoming more comfortable socializing in a more casual way (I am also trying to learn how to date, but that is another blog altogether...). I only had one political argument (the others were more friendly), and that one was not my fault because the poor boy decided to talk to me about the war in Iraq... Cute, yes, but I am also an intellectual.... ;-)

OK, so we saw lots of cool stuff in Spain too. The last picture is one point of entry into Madrid's Plaza Mayor, an incredible public square that was the site of the auto de fe (think Spanish Inquisition) and an example of Madrid's Bourbon history and corresponding architectural style. We took daytrips to Toledo and Segovia, and a longer trip to the south to visit Sevilla and Granada.

This castle is in Segovia and is actually the prototype for the Disneyland castle made famous by some crazy princess stories ;-) (I did not grow up reading Cinderella or Snow White, and everything at Disneyland was frightening to me as a kid. I couldn't figure out why my dad would take me to such a torturous place...)

The next two are from Sevilla. If you are a Star Wars fan, like one of my travel buddies, you will recognize "Nabo" from the latest installments of Star Wars. Sevillians call it Plaza de Espan-ya. The other photo is of the most amazing gothic cathedral in Sevilla. I have to say, I may need to make a trip to Spain just to visit Sevilla again. It was the most enchanting city we visited.

Blogger won't let me upload anymore pictures, so one final post about Spain will follow! Stay tuned...

So High, You Can't Get Over It

2007-10-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Well, we found it in Spain too...

I blogged about representations of 'blackness' when I was in Norway, and so I now have to provide a short report about what I saw in Spain.

As Brunsli mentioned about Paris, I also saw many locked Spaniards, mostly folks who were trying to manifest a bohemian lifestyle. But what was so interesting to me about Madrid, was the tremendous change to the city over the last 10 years. I had the opportunity to pariticipate in the EAP program to Madrid when I was an undergrad. During that time I may have seen 5 other Black women in Spain (yes, I was looking and counting), though it was more common to see Black men (but not in large numbers). I was stared at incessantly in the streets and in the shops, and people would often stop me to make comments about my skin color, my lips, my nose etc. Admittedly, 99% of the comments were meant to be flattering, and I didn't actually mind the exoticization after dealing with trifling folks in LA for 4 years....

At that time, the main popular reference for Black women was Naomi Cambell, so no, I wasn't tripping ;-)

Fast forward to the present and Madrid is so different. You can hear various languages being spoken when you walk down the street, advertisements feature interracial, international, and cross-cultural families, Spaniards have also begun adopting children from Africa and Asia, and there are people of color everywhere.
This government-sponsored adverstisement was in the subway and states that the integration of immigrants benefits everyone. Amazing, eh? Show me an example of such support in the US.... (ok, that is another blog...).

Still, some things don't go away so quickly. Part of the way the culture is dealing with these shifts is through increased, entrenched exoticization. This is a touchy subject, but I do read this as an example of the crazy blending of fear and fascination that often accompanies racial questions (I am really trying to state this delicately). There is an increase in interest in jazz music, for example, but notice the way it also conjures minstrelsy.
Even the cotton club is recuperated, but not much understanding about the racism, segregation, and exploitation that went along with it (the performance of 'blackness' for white audiences specifically).

To be fair, maybe the Spaniards are more savy about their choices than I am giving them credit. Who knows.

Girls Will Be Girls...

2007-10-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

What on earth could these girls be grinning at? 1, 2, 3...

1, 2, 3!

Mystery (from "The Pickup Artist") is correct about having a game plan for meeting new people in social settings. "Would you mind taking our picture" was a good one. Nevertheless, these nice fellows turned out to be... well, very friendly and kind. We had a great conversation, and they left together....

Further down the street, we encountered even more people. For better or for worse, our apartment was located near the center of Madrid. This infamous street (Calle Huertas) features bars that cater to those willing to party until 4am on any night of the week (except Monday, most places are closed by 2am on that day...).

As many of you may remember from my blogs about my trip to Norway, I am a bit over the whole nightlife scene, at least the scene that features people whose maturity level too closely resembles their age. But, when in Rome (or Madrid)...

The Spanish are famous for their lifestyle, in particular the very late hours they keep, the 'marcha' (nightlife), and the casual way people meet and greet in public spaces. Waiters consider it strange for people to show up for dinner before 10pm, and even old women will make catcalls to good looking people walking down the street. We also received a good deal of free food and drinks as a gesture of hospitality and flirtation (of course). The free stuff really helped our already tight budget.

At any rate, I do wonder how a group of old woman friends would fare on a trip to a resort without boys in sight?!

Espan-ya!

2007-10-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back from my wonderful, amazing trip to Spain :-(
but as I was unable to update the blog regularly, I will have to write as if I were still there :-)

(Above is a picture from the gardens of the Alhambra in Granada, Spain).

Ole!

2007-10-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

The entire crowd was full of anticipation just waiting to find out where we decided to spend our fall vacation. Here is a BIG (and very attractive) hint:

Viva Espan-ya!

As an undergraduate student I had the opportunity to participate in the Education Abroad Program to Madrid, Spain. This was the first time I had left the US (that Saturday night in Tijuana doesn't count...). Well, since then I have a very special affinity to Spain, and I have been blessed with the opportunity to visit again with two queridas amigas.

During that year I lived in Spain I never attended a bullfight. I am a student of literature so I have read a great deal about authors' particular interest in the sport. I also know that many African American authors see a relationship between certain aspects of Spanish culture (the bullfight, flamenco, and duende) and African American approaches to expressive art. I studied Spanish dance/ballet (sevillanas, flamenco) and after seeing an actual bullfight yesterday, alot of those things made more sense to me (even Picasso's paintings of the corrida/bullfight).

There is no way to deny the brutality of the sport (I have not posted the more graphic pictures). We also saw a bullfighter be tossed and gouged (twice) by the bull. It is no joke, the fighters really do look into death as they meet a bull in the ring. The pageantry of the event was extraordinary, and the way the bullfighters move... well, we needed a drink after....

The Travel Bug

2007-10-07T01:28:00.000-07:00

Hey Everybody: I too have caught the travel fever! I am far from home (and losing my shirt with this exchange rate), having a good time with some college friends. I will post pictures soon of our travels and adventures.

Self-Portraiture

2007-09-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

Ladies, I was very flattered when the wonderful department I am affiliated with this year invited me to be included in their newsletter. The move to this university has been fantastic in every way, and it is great to actually feel like the people you are working with are happy to have you around....

Well, I was told that this newsletter circulates nationally, and since I am going on the job market, this is a really good way for people to find out who I am and what I do.....

....also, it is a way for single, straight, men of color with PhDs to check me out! I'm just saying.....

I am a serious academic ;-)

Anyway, all this meant that I needed to submit a headshot, something that junior academics like myself don't have lying around. Although I have been trying to keep up with the fabulous photographic genius featured on many of your blogs (especially the Brunsli), I am a slow learner. I quickly deleted many of the really bad mistakes (I have an earlier post that talks about photography, lighting, and locks), but I'll share some of the day's pics.

So this is the first one. It is not a horrible picture, but the problem for me is the blouse. I bought that top when I had long braid extensions that were chocolate brown in color. I put on the red necklace in the photo to break up the color, but this look is not conveying what I want. I think this picture says "young academic trying to look mature."

Although the round neck is an obvious improvement in the photo below, this picture is ALL nose! This is probably the biggest problem that I have with self-portraits, my nose is centered in the photo. Now I have worked very hard at accepting my features (oh how those kids teased me for my hair, lips, and nose! Man, integration aint easy!). Anyway, I would love to hear tips about how to figure out the camera positioning to avoid shooting these nosey photos!

In this picture I look shocked, like I still can't believe they gave me that fellowship. Again, the wrong look to accomplish both of my goals...

In this picture I have that 'crazy' eye, like I would stalk those single, straight, men of color with PhDs (and active Christians).

This one is the winner (don't offer alternative opinions...), I think I look young, smart, hip, and ready to party at the next conference (but in an intellectually sophisticated kind of way)! Obviously I am teasing (sort of... ;-)

And now for three gorgeous brainiacs who need no help with their headshots:

Black Etiquette

2007-08-21T13:20:00.000-07:00

I've got a question for ya (and unlike Mary J., I don't already know the answer)!

Do you tip your loctician for services rendered?

Given the complaints that some folks have about the costs of establishing and maintaining sisterlocks, people may not want to think about something like tipping. Also, as Black hairdressers, braiders, and stylists may work from home, perhaps the customs around tipping are distinct (I have seen women bring baked goods as payment for a braid job, and I know braiders who offer their services in exchange for babysitting. These kinds of practices make up the 'richness' of Black community and 'value' of Black social networks).

I have also had the experience of being criticized by a hairdresser because I never tipped her (I thought the 300 bucks for the braids was enough). Once I had a hairdresser take an additional 20 from my wad of cash; she felt she was teaching me about the importance of tipping. This woman was a famous Manhattan hairdresser to celebrities (the most well-known, contemporary, Black female songstresses you can think of... yes even that one). She came 3 hours late to our consultation, and 1.5 hours late to our appointment. She gave me a gorgeous weave (I know that sounds crazy), was incredibly talented, and really needed cash...

I also used to get my hair weaved in London, and hairdressers in the shop there also expected to be tipped.

Getting back to the locks: Given my own experiences, I do give my loctician what is probably better regarded as a 'gratuity,' in that it is just a little extra on top of what she charges. It is rarely exactly the same amount, and she has never commented on it at all.

So I'd like to know: do you leave a tip or not? If not, why not, and if so, how do you determine the amount?

A New Relationship?

2007-08-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

(My loctician, Chocolata, and My Sister)

Well this is a tough one for me. Along with the move to SoCal comes the challenge of maintaining a long-distance relationship... with my loctician.

I have to admit, I thought about playing the field, stepping out and seeing what was up in SoCal. How could I be so cruel to my first love? You know, a good friend of mine taught me the phrase 'amor de lejos, amor de pendejos.'

Still, I wonder how I could ever start up a new relationship, especially as I would have to start 'dating' on the internet. Think about it, everyone is recommended to go the the sisterlocks website to find a certified sisterloctician. But does the internet every really tell you everything about a person with whom you will have such an important relationship?

If I could be honest, I would say that I want to know:
1. whether the person works from home or in a shop. I have had my hair done in people's homes for years, but this sometimes meant mediating domestic arguments, travelling with my hairdresser to cash a check, rocking a baby to sleep, waiting for the crack smoke to dissipate, and overnighting when the police was chasing a 'suspect' through the backyard. The home/shop issue can sometimes also be a factor for clients with children. Some locticians announce on their profiles that children are not permitted in the shop unless they are being serviced. This kind of information is very helpful when conducting a search for a loctician (and locticians for clients).

2. on average, how long does a retightening take? I know that this is a difficult one to answer, but the variation from one person to another is so vast, that I become very nervous about just picking someone off the net who has a time slot to work on my head. My loctician is amazing and retightens my hair in 3 hrs. I understand (as well as anyone with locks) that the length of time is determined by the number of locks, the amount of new growth, and potentially the number of clients a loctician has had in a day. I am not looking for a definite number of hours, but a working estimate is a guideline that also allows a client to plan accordingly. A visit to a hairdresser doesn't have to be total uncertainty for Black women. C'mon...

3. Does homegirl want to work?! I only received a return call from one of the certified locticians I called... In my messages I always ask if the loctician is accepting new clients. Such information would be helpful on the website, and I presume that the lack of returned calls to my queries was because they were not taking new heads on.

4. shouldn't we, especially during the first years, discuss the direction of my progress? Do we have a similar vision about the future of my hair, how to deal with problem areas, splitting, combining?

5. do you know how to style locks?

6. will you remove lint?!

7. Apart from the practicality of 1-4, the things that I really want to know are, will you walk me to my car if you live/work in the 'hood,' will you be there for me, will you take a genuine interest in the development of my hair, will you be excited about the new growth around my temple, can we talk about LOST, do you love shoes? You cannot know these things from the internet. Any relationship takes time and effort.

So, all of this is to say that I am driving up north today to get my hair retightened by my first and only loctician...

Welcome to My (New) World

2007-08-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hurray for SoCal living! I am so impressed by the differences between my previous coastal residence and my new one. I am very happily adjusting to this area, it also happens to be the county I was born and raised in. It is sometimes great to return to familiar places, and the fact that my folks are so close means alot to me and to my little one.

Also: I have a terrace accesible from my room! How cool is that..

It's funny, but after a move the only thing I want to do is lie in bed and watch romantic comedies all day. I guess I need to walk around in my robe for a few days in order to mark the territory as mine.

The other thing we are doing to get adjusted is to go the beach daily ;-) This is really helping us to acclimate to our new surroundings! We also decided to get my niece in on the act.

I love pictures that catch small kids unaware! (My daughter was just about to sneeze!). (Look at the hole to the left, those poor sand crabs...)

Coming (Back) To America...

2007-08-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I stopped updating my blog while I was away. I actually began producing good material on my dissertation chapter, and I couldn't upload pictures during the second leg of my trip.

To wrap up: I saw lots of locks while in Oslo, but of course, the day I took my camera to capture pictures of all those gorgeous styles, I only saw blonde 80s-style hairdos!

I also tried to capture images of the 'ethnic scene' in Oslo, but I felt foolish taking pictures of other people of color on the street...

I did get some shopping in, and, follower as I am, I bought a pair of peg-legged jeans (don't judge me ;-)

The last week of my trip was spent on 'The Continent' (as the Europeans say), in Germany. My diva sister lives their with her two stunning kids. I also think that my sis has the best head of organic locks in the country (no bias of course).

I also had the chance to complete another braid job while there, this time, on my fabulous niece.

My hair grew alot on this trip! It couldn't have been because of the stress, but apart from lots of new growth, my hair was incredibly dry after a month away. More updates on the hair will follow swiftly...

A Date With Helga

2007-07-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

Well I was on the couch on Friday night, watching the movie of the week Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. If you haven't seen the movie, the protagonists meet on a train in Europe, and decide to get off the train (at his destination) in Austria in order to continue their nascent conversation and to test the chemistry developing between them. The catch is that he is to fly back to the States the following morning.

I admit to being the kind of person who makes comments throughout a film, TV program, news report, whatever, and Friday night was no different (even though I am in this house alone). I told the girl not to get off the train. I told her to walk away from that guy (he was so annoying), and I told her not to trust him. I told her so many things, that I realized that if she took my advice, she too would be sitting alone on a couch on a Friday night in a European capital...

So, deciding to do the opposite of what my Super Ego would have me to do, I committed to going out on Saturday.

My 'date' began with a trip to the Nobel Peace Center museum. As you may know, the Nobel Peace Prize is given out here in Oslo (the prize for literature is given out in Stockholm). This is an amazing, state of the art museum built in what used to be a train station. Apart from the permanent collection, there was an exhibit featuring 40 artists from around the world, and their commentary on global warming. Also, there was a fantastic exhibit about the 2006 Peace Prize winner Muhammed Yunus and Grameen Bank who provide small loans and financial counselling to the poorest (mostly women, of course) of Bangladesh. I'll tell you, I was so taken by this man's work, and so angry about the perpetuation of poverty in the US. Yunus said to Fortune Magazine that they ask for no guarantee, no references, etc. Consider this, Grameen Bank has lent out close to 6 billion dollars, and has a repay rate of almost 99%!

Afterwards, I walked around Aker Brygge, the 'boardwalk' of Oslo. As this was a fairly nice day, there were lots of people out. I had a delicious hot dog!

Then, I took myself for champagne and dessert at the great French bakery Pascal (they actually made my wedding cake...the cake was excellent!). Since the hot dog was so cheap, I figured I'd splurge on the champagne (I do watch $40 a Day)! I sat outside and tried to develop some ideas I have for this dissertation chapter, and otherwise tried not to look too uncomfortable on a first date with myself...

Well, the evening hours rollled around, and I knew I would have to take myself for a drink and dancing. This was the scariest part. But, did I mention that I've been working out? I felt good about putting on makeup, tight jeans, these red shoes from Filene's in Boston, and working this braidout! This is about as big as I can get my hair to go, but I thought I looked good.

I read about an old school hip hop show, so I figured that would be a great place to get lost. I wasn't sure what Norwegians meant by 'old school,' but, I haven't been to a good old school show in Cali unless it is jumping off from my own iTunes library! Anyway, these are the lessons I learned about going out alone:

1. Be selective (read point 2).
2. Men are quicker to approach a woman alone (men are sooo shy!), but be careful (I did NOT make eye contact with anyone on the street (read point 3)
3. Making strategic AND effective eye contact is much easier when one is alone in a bar, restaurant, or nightclub.
3. It is easier to get into the club for free when you are alone (even the kindest, flirtiest doormen have trouble slipping in a group of 4 girls).
4. As soon as a good song comes on, get on the dancefloor and enjoy yourself. Hey, you are already in the club alone, stop worrying about what other people think!
5. Don't accept a ride home from a man revealing his handcuffs and discussing his expertise in martial arts. Scary!
6. Focus completely on your good time

PS. By the time I got home (3am), I realized that I am totally over the club scene...

Just This..

2007-07-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

And that's all I have to say about that, humph!

A Walk in the Park

2007-07-15T12:33:00.001-07:00

Finally, a little sunshine! I thought I was over it, but yes, I 'gikk paa tur' (went for a walk) on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.

A few observations while walking through the amazing Vigeland's Park (named after the incomparable sculptor Gustav Vigeland):

1. There are many more interracial couples in Oslo than ever. It sure wasn't like this when I lived here. Also, it has been far more common to see Norwegian men with women of color.

2. It is much more common to see people of color all over the city and working in every capacity (rather than being confined to the eastern side of town and low-profile jobs as was the case a few years back). (This does not contradict my previous post).

3. PDA does actually make single people on a sunny day in Oslo feel lonely, sigh.

4. Seeing all of the mom's pushing baby carriages does make newly-single-women-without-their-daughters want to make 'baby talk' with all the little ones in the park!

5. Sunbathing nude in a public park that is also a major tourist attraction makes tourist photography very challenging indeed. (BTW I was not sunbathing nude....).

6. There is alot of beauty in Norway.

Negrophilia?

2007-07-15T12:01:00.001-07:00

Walking around Oslo I am taken by the use-value of blackness. In a recent interview, the queen of Norway stated that integrating Norway's 'new countrymen' is an important and difficult task. But how exactly should people be 'integrated?'

(BTW: The caption next to the man in heels reads "Who in the world still travels to Ibiza?," and the quote about 'black' is from a Swedish modernist painter/sculptor).

Hilsen fra Norge!

2007-07-12T12:08:00.001-07:00

Greetings from.... Norway! Yes, I am literally chilling out way up North. But no need to fret, I am able to eat such delicious chocolate at my leisure. I have been complaining to my family about how hungry I am here. It is extraordinary, the Norwegians are very active people. Everyone is walking and biking, and looking down on people who drive too much or refuse to go for long walks (preferably in the mountains) on the weekend. As I no longer feel the pressure to participate in those outdoor rituals, I am free to eat as much chocolate as I can... and this chocolate is excellent!

The rain has not ceased since I arrived. I knew that summer in Oslo could be either incredibly warm, or very cold. As optimistic as I am, my scaled down clothing selection for this trip only included one sweater and one long-sleeved shirt! Here's hoping that the sun comes soon.

Mostly, I spend my time working out on my dissertation, or at the gym (pictured below). I was shocked to enter this amazingly modern health club, it was a bit like a postmodern Clockwork Orange. They have one room full of treadmills, with the lights turned down, and a huge screen showing pictures of people doing sporty things. It is sooooo spooky! But between eating so little for breakfast and lunch (people generally eat a bowl of cereal or toast for breakfast, and more open-faced sandwiches for lunch), and hanging out at this postmodern gym I'll be a
-1 before I get back, HJELP!

The other interesting thing about Oslo is that it is one of (if not THEE most) expensive city in Europe. Not only is there alot of money here, everything is outrageously expensive. For examples: I spent 5 dollars on dental floss, 5 bucks to ride the bus, and 2.5 buckaroos for that delicious chocolate bar featured (completely devoured) above. Another interesting fact is that alcohol in Norway (like Sweden) is owned by the State (yes, that means that all the revenues from Absolut Vodka go into the State's coffers!). Excluding beer, all alcohol must be purchased here:
This is me and my baby outside of the Vinmonopolet (yes, just as it sounds, The Wine Monopoly!). As I have budgetted very carefully for this trip, I purchased all of the wine I allotted myself for the three weeks (what amounts to 3 bottles... c'mon, literary scholars must have their wine...). Anyway, three bottles=60 bucks! The good thing about the monopoly is that people are actually able to purchase very good wines for less than their normal price, precisely because The Monopoly buys in large quantities. Because of the control of liquor, Norwegians drink very little alcohol during the week, and dinner parties (rather than eating out) and 'pre-partying' (rather than drinking excessively in bars all night) are very important. Nevertheless, beware on the weekends, around 11:30 many people are fall-down drunk!

Moving on....
This is a great shopping street in Oslo in one of my former stomping grounds (there was also a brief moment of sun which made the excursion quite pleasant). There are sales in EVERY store right now, and I am so tempted to lose it. I promised myself that I would make no purchase until my final week (to keep myself in check) and when I have seen what the latest fashions are. Unfortunately, 98% of the women here are still sporting the peg-leg jean! Darn. Apart from the fact that I sported that style in high school (yes I am dating myself), it is not a look that suits me. I hate that. Otherwise, in terms of fashion, this is a 'hip hop' nation.... more on that later (after Saturday's reggae concert! Did I mention that The Game is performing here tomorrow night...?).

Finally, this is a picture of a ring I bought for myself en route to Scandinavia. The only special thing about it is that I liked it, and it was purchased as a reminder of self-love during this crazy re-visit to Norway. It is very difficult to come to a place that holds so much (good and bad) history for me, but I am thankful that I am such a different person today.... and I've got my sisterlocks!

Gimme a Shot!

2007-07-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

As promised, I have taken some photos to show my hair progress up to date. For me, the first year with sisterlocks has been great, I do feel so much freer and more myself without those (gorgeous, stunning) braid extensions. In the US, people have responded so positively to the change (one of my friends said she wanted to cut her hair short after seeing my new style.... she obviously didn't realize the seemingly unending pursuit of length, but she was, afterall, giving me a complement;-)

This is the first time my former in-laws are seeing my hair in sisterlocks. One brother-in/out-law said "you changed your hair." His mom said, "you changed your hair." Admittedly, I am having a couple of bad hair days here in this rainy weather (yes, the rainy weather even makes my locks droop), but I have told them all of my commitment not to hide behind hair. I'm not sure they got it...

At any rate, I am content (I was even asked on two dates here, yes y'all, as Lupe Fiasco says, I am still on my pimp! That is a joke people...).

Anyway, I still have not figured out how to take a decent picture of myself, but ask the ladies from the sisterlock gathering in the Bay, I am cute, I swear.

I am looking forward to the second year, I can see from other people's blogs that things really take off during year two!

Yikes! Look at day 2, front and back!

5, 6, 7, or 8?

2007-07-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been tagged, but in the interim, the number of things one is to share about oneself has grown. I shall begin my list and see how far I get!

1. I was the first black cheerleading captain at my high school. I am not exactly sure what kind of feat that was, but it is true nonetheless. Although I was involved in cheerleading all four years, I now regret not having done something that I could have continued to use later in life, like joining the tennis or golf team. (I am also excited for Venus). Also, high school was the time when I started wearing hair weaves (sorry, all pictures are at my parents' house). Man, that was tough back in the late 80s, no India Arie in sight!

2. In the sixth grade I misspelled the word 'therapeutic' during a regional spelling bee (my best friend was eliminated for the incorrect spelling of 'mesmerize'). I still haven't been able to watch the movie Akillah and the Bee for fear of traumatic flashbacks! Looking at the caliber of words young people have to spell in the bees these days makes my error way back when seem even more pathetic!

3. I was tatooed by a Danish sailor. This is nothing to be proud of, but it does sound stereotypical in a way. BTW I am not in Denmark now, though I am in Scandinavia.

4. I am a music fanatic. I have an appreciation of almost everything from classical, to folk, rock, R&B, hip hop, and especially music from Spain, parts of Africa, and Latin America. As a child I was moved to tears listening to my mom's gospel albums. When my father found me crying by the record player, I tried to explain that I wanted to be in the record. My parents took this to mean that I wanted to be a musician, but the truth is that I wanted to be IN the music (a very hard concept to explain at such a young age). At any rate, I have played four different instruments (clarinet, piano, flute, bass guitar, and 3 months with the guitar), but I am still moved by someone like the incomparable Prince explaining that he IS music. Deep!

5. I am hispanophile. I have studied Spanish since I was 14, and as an undergraduate I participated in EAP to Madrid. I am crazy about that country and travel to Spain often. Apart from that, an important part of my dissertation deals with Afro-Latin America and I often tell people that I am from Cuba (when I am in California) or from Puerto Rico (when I am on the east coast).

6. I have 8 siblings! I fall at number 5, though technically I am the baby (who can take that away from me?), as my parents began adopting after me. It is wonderful being from a large family, more so now that we are all grown than during childhood (oh the morning fights over leg warmers and clothes before school back in the day...). You should see how long it takes to open presents at Christmas (there are now 7 grandchildren as well)!

7. I always thought that I would be a professional dancer. When I got to college I decided to major in something a bit more practical, and now here I am, one year away from a PhD and the only rugs I cut are from tripping in my stillettos.

8. I have often joked that if the PhD-game didn't work out, I would go to 'beauty school!'

9. Today is my one year sisterlock anniversary. Pictures of my rag and of this rainy country are forthcoming...

Ch- Ch- Changes...

2007-07-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

Alrighty then! The last few months (perhaps 5 since the switch was made to the New Blogger and hence the lack of posting on my part) have been filled with all class of excitement and changes. Thank you to everyone who still came by the blog, I am still an avid reader of everything going on with y'all and your respective sisterlocks! (Ally: congrats on the move; Brunsli: I am feeling you about the studying; and Sunsail: hang tough, family may trip, but you look fly!). My sister Aya has been harrassing me too about updating, and her spirit about the whole locking experience keeps me looking at my hair in the mirror (what a one woman support system!).

I am also proud to say that I have been tagged a few times, and I am eager to share all kinds of outrageous stuff about myself... but that will be another day.

For now, I would like to announce that during the Spring I was awarded a very prestigious dissertation fellowship! Hurray! After receiving so many rejection letters (and after sooo much work putting the applications together) I was successful, and because of that, I decided to move to another California beach town (people here luuuvvv to put the universities on the coast, God bless em')!

After the move who couldn't use a little resort living? I tell you, two days by the pool changes your whole perspective. This time, the little one got to get in on the action at Fess Parker. (And look how lovely they set the breakfast table on our patio.) BTW the white building with the small terraces is the new dwelling, not Fess Parker... ;-)

The other crazy thing that has happened actuallly coincides with my sisterlock journey (so to speak). The day my locks were installed was also the beginning of some very trying legal issues around custody of my beloved baby girl. Long story short, I am now (a year later) on an international trip for her first international visitation abroad. I would like to say that I am not anxious at all about being here, but that would be a big fat lie. So along with getting back into the blog, I am going to write about how things are going over here.

Part of this experience has been about changing my perspective on my self and my life, so the decision to sisterlock was also about letting go of the things (like hair) that I was hiding behind. Also, I love to hide behind nice handbags and shoes, thus this trip is also being accomplished with very little 'stuff.' I decided to pack one dress, one suit, one pair of jeans, one skirt, one pair of slacks, only three pair of shoes, and about five tops (plus clothes for the gym). I am going to post pictures of how the combinations come out. As I am planning to write another chapter during this month-long sojourn (and to workout regularly) I think I may be alright.

These photos are of the beautiful house I am keeping while here abroad (architects have impeccable taste!). The dining room is now my office, and that lovely living room down the hall will be my crashing spot for the next three weeks.

Finally, July 9th marks the end of me being a first-year sisterlocker, so stay tuned for some hillarious before and after shots!

Here I Am!

2007-07-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

I am back y'all. Stay posted, a new entry is underway!

Just To Get Some Rest...

2007-02-27T14:21:00.000-08:00

How nice it is to relax. It is hard for me to believe that I used to take pleasure in sleeping until 2, but things have sure changed. It has been a busy Fall and Winter, the time when ambitious graduate students seek fellowships, attend conferences, and pretend to write the dissertation....

I had the opportunity to travel to the South for a conference last weekend. I was so immediately taken by the Southern Gentlemanliness that still seems to exist. I have never been called 'mam,' 'miss,' 'lady,' and 'miss lady mam' so often in such a short span of time! I loved it, and I have to say, though I was born and raised on the West coast, we do not have the same culture of exchange. It was rare (in the state I visited) for someone to pass by or share an elevator without speaking, making a friendly joke, or wishing me well.

As for the room full of academics....

I had to snatch a picture of the snow for my daughter who is now obsessed with being able to see snow in person. You will notice from the picture that I had a terrible seat on the plane (but my baby sure was happy to have mama home... I think).

That brings me to my second complaint about academic life: when do the first class (heck, business class) seats become a part of this deal?

The good thing is that sisterlocks do travel well. I remember sitting up a couple of times to fluff my hair out, I was so nervous that a gorgeous, young, male, historian of color would also be travelling to the conference and see me wake up with a box-shaped head after sleeping and sweating on the plane. Well, the SLs held up without worry, and there were no cute academics on the flight (except me ;-)

Finally, here are some updated photos from about 7 months.

A New Member to the Family!

2007-01-30T12:51:00.000-08:00

It is with great pride and celebration that I announce a new sisterlocker and fellow sisterlock-blogger: my sister 'Aya!' (These 'secret' names are so funny. She doesn't know why I have chosen mine either, but it is bizarre to speak in code with someone I'm so close to)! Please check out her blog here. This makes three sisterlockers and one twists-to-locks in my family. BTW, they all have the thick hair, pooh!

Dollars and Sense

2006-12-08T12:14:00.000-08:00

So I have begun my research about professor salaries across the nation. Check out the website salary.com to find out about salaries for a multitude of different occupations all over the country.

For associate professors in the liberal arts in southern Cal, the average salary is (brace yourselves), $65,013! In northern Cal, the figure is only slightly higher (65,801). I then wondered what the difference would be in New York. Well, an assocate prof. in English receives on average $65,930.

BTW, for full professors, the figure goes up to about $83,037 (again, on average).

I don't know what this means in terms of me buying a home :-(

I have heard of people receiving very nice research stipends, and even help on the purchase of a home.

Maybe I will have to begin selling some books!

Black Ties, Black People

2006-12-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity to go to a black tie event over the weekend. The sponsors were an organization of professional Black men my bro-in-law (below) recently joined.

Admittedly, I was skeptical, less about elite Black organizations, but more about the possibilities of meeting single, tall, political, professional, and Christian Black men who date Black women. Maybe Christian should have appeared at the top of the list... At any rate, I figured that I would enjoy the opportunity to get dressed up. After reading Brunsli's blog and looking at the salary base for associate professors in liberal arts, (more on that later), I had begun to contemplate switiching to law school!

Anyway, I also greatly enjoyed getting dolled up with my beautiful sisters. We are a natural hair family, none of us (and there are many) have permed hair. Although we are still trying to get this one (below) to sisterlock, she still looked stunning with this gorgeous upsweep.

My other sis is new to the SL family. She looks regal with her curly, baby SLs. I'm so jealous of how full her hair already is!

The Shrinkage!

2006-11-25T15:23:00.000-08:00

So, apart from trying to watch my hair grow, the other activity me and my locs are actively involved in is a fight against SHRINKAGE! In some ways, it doesn't bother me. In fact, it gives me a sort of 'boyish' hairstyle that I don't mind at all. It becomes problematic for me when the front and sides begin to resemble that lopsided JJ Fadd haircut from back in the day.

The new strategy in the fight against shrinkage is... curlers! When I curl my hair after a wash (and although the 'look' in these pictures was achieved with about three different curler types, due to my uneven lengths) I find that I don't have to battle the shrinkage for most of the week (the fight is on again after about 4 days). Because I don't like to mess wtih my hair so much (I can't wait to 'freestyle' properly) curling once a week is reasonable, and the outcome is fairly cute! These photos are from the fourth month.

California Dreamin'

2006-11-25T15:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, I too dream of owning a beautiful home in California (I love all the pictures that give me a glimpse of Brunsli's cool Bay area crib!). I am from a small town close to an up and coming part of the coast. It is so up and coming that I am already priced out of the market (well, anything over $29.99 puts me out of the market! I'll get a full time job soon).

So, I took my daughter and niece to have a look-see, and I was so happy to find this beautiful lot for sale!

I am only 2.25 million short, but this, the view, is truly amazing.

Reading Brunsli's blogs about the job search/interview/negotiation process has got me thinking about the 'quality' of pay I should receive as a professor (PhD in hand) at some entry level position.

Mostly I've just been thinking and daydreaming about it (hence the photos of these beautiful coastal homes), and imagining how nice it would be to have a retreat.

Well, I have heard stories of people starting off with a low salary, but with a research fund, and sometimes even funding for housing (think a small downpayment).

As I am planning to come out next year (it's kind of like going into the NFL draft!), I should begin researching more seriously. (Wow, my locs will also be past the one year mark then, that's gotta help with landing a good job!).

Christmas in November

2006-11-25T14:02:00.000-08:00

My mother is the type of person who would get ready for Christmas in the summer! (One of the trees comes in pieces and in a bag!). When I lived in Europe, people thought that it was so strange that people would put up a Christmas tree before December 20th. At any rate, I love the fact that my mom prepares early, because that means that I get to start eating Chex Mix around Halloween!

Me and Mom got started cooking while I was home over the Veteran's Day holiday.

The other thing that mom likes a lot, and that I am very proud of, is her collection of Black Christmas decorations (I am still planning to get her the Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, and Sojourner Truth ornaments from the Museum of the African Diaspora). My mom began searching for these things long before it became popular to have them.

Of course, we also pulled out decorations for the Thanksgiving table.

Hope you all are having a pleasant holiday!

Finally Made It...

2006-10-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

to the Museum of the African Diaspora (www.moadsf.org)! It was a beautiful day in San Francisco so my sister and I took the kids into the city to check out the museum (and then to visit the new shops in the SF Center).

The MoAD is a sophisticated, interactive museum experience. The space is not particularly large (a narrow lobby and two floors of exhibits), but specific attention is paid to the various flows of the Diaspora (the slave trade AND later movements and migrations).

Most of the installations on the second floor relied on documentary, televisual, and audiovisual display formats (in one theatre, visitors could sit and listen to well-known black scholars or writers read slave narratives, in another one views docu-dramas of, among others, the Haitian Revolution and Nelson Mandela's struggle for freedom). Other displays on this floor used an interactive format to comment on music, food, and style of dress. The kids really enjoyed pushing all the buttons and jumping around the dark theatres. Altogether these displays were interesting, but I do question some of the curatorial choices given the ways black peoples have traditionally been represented. (For example, in the display about clothing, the visitor sees his/her face reflected back in a mirror as the head coverings, clothing, shoes, and accessories the visitor looks at change. Another way of 'imagining' ourselves in someone else's shoes?!

The photo of the gate of no return on Goree Island, Senegal is the only visual about slavery. Otherwise the visitor listens to slave narrative. The horrors of the Middle Passage and of slavery itself are glossed over. Food, clothing, and music are considered the 'conspicuous' aspects of black culture, but even these are displayed in a way that separates cultural practices from material realities. Finally, sociology, anthropology, and the 'documentary' are the ways blacks have traditionally been looked at and MISrecognized).

Moving on...

The girls had been reading about black women and quilt-making, so we were especially excited to see this exhibit. The hall leading to this exhibition hall showed pictures from the WPA of Southern poverty in the 1930s-1940s. Quilts were hung around the exhibit room and a few tables were set up so that guests could look at binders containing pictures and information about quilting practices etc. OK, I would not call that 'interactive' per se. Anyway, this room also featured a large screen and benches for visitors to screen the powerful PBS documentary The Quiltmakers of Gees Bend.

We went on up to the third floor, and on the way I had to get a shot of the amazing collage that lines the stairwell of the museum. The girls got nervous of the height and also needed a break!

The Carrie Mae Weems exhibit was amazing and timely. I was also pleasantly surprised to see so prominently displayed a direct and thoughtful exposition concerning the sexual exploitation of black women. The exhibit was hauntingly serene...

We rode the elevator back down to the lobby as I was intent on getting to the gift shop and the girls were developing museum legs. I am crazy about these collages, I've got to figure out a way to get a swatch for my office!

The gift shop was great, there were so many books that I wanted (one on Alvin Ailey, another on Lorna Simpson, a third on contemporary Afro-Cuban artists...). The girls were entertained by a very nice woman working at the museum who read to them and let them play with all the toys and trinkets. (I must go back for the Frederick Douglass finger puppet, it doubles as a Christmas ornament, and the Sojourner Truth doll!). They had great stuff for kids like memory cards with African American art or Civil Rights facts. Long story short, I didn't buy anything, being influenced as I was by recent blogs about budgetting and shopping (see Another Hair Trip). But, I will be back in the Bay over the weekend...

We went on to Bloomingdales WHICH IS AMAZING! Apart rom the incredibly rude SF crowd of shoppers, I finally entered into shoe heaven at Bloomies! Love, love, love. So many things that I want, but I bought nothing! Talk about restraint. Saturday...

Turn Out the Lights...

2006-10-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

T. Pendegras was onto something. I am still trying to figure out how to take good pictures with this digital camera. Although I am not a person to read the instruction manual, I still think that I should upgrade my Canon PowerShot to one that has a larger screen. At any rate, I was trying to figure out how to avoid the 'brillo pad' looking photos (below) that result when taking pictures of new locks with the flash on. (This is from two months ago).

At the same time, I would like to take a picture that actually captures what I THINK I look like when I look in the mirror. I really don't think I look like any of the pictures I have taken (or posted on my blog), talk about double consciousness...

Anyway, this picture is in the bathroom, lights on no flash.

This one is lights off with flash. I did hear something behind me that sounded like an explosion when I took the picture, but I figured that I was really making magic happen! In this picture you get a better sense of the texture and quality of my baby locks without the brillo-pad look.

I still don't think that this is what I look like *sigh*

They're Back...

2006-10-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

I figured it out! (Some of us are slower than others). So my new 'technique' is to roll my hair on the soft spikes after washing. I took advice from Leighann's blog about waiting until the hair is almost dry (she uses a 1-5 scale) before rolling. I use bigger soft spikes in the back and smaller ones on top. The trick for me is to put more locks on the spikes up top (this is to avoid the repeat of that REAL bad wedding hair...). I sleep on them, and in the morning, voila!

I am working with a sort of 80s butch style here... Well, at least that's what it looks like to me. Honestly, I hate the whole 80s look that is in fashion right now (who looks good in peg-leg jeans?). I should add that this two days later.

My new problem (because I always have to have one) is that my hair does not fall back down into place after it has been blown back by the wind. I learned this the hard way after I gave my second lecture. I thought I was so cute, but then I caught a view of myself in the window as I left the classroom. Of course, as I stood in front of my class asking "do you understand what I am saying, any questions" I can only imagine what they were thinking! (I've got to learn how to hold still while lecturing about slavery, almost impossible).

This hair still needs some weight, y'all!

If I Have One...Two Regrets...

2006-09-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

the first would be that I did not get a haircut and/or some sort of hairstyle before getting my sisterlocks installed. Apart from having an actual 'look' or style, I badly needed to trim my hair after wearing the braid extensions for so long. You can tell from the photo that my hair is several different lengths, a factor that also made sisterlock installment a bit more challenging for my loctician (sorry!).

The other REAL regret that I have about my hair is the thing that is bugging me the most, just about everyday. This is tough, but I am going to show it! Argh, look at the damage I did to my hair by wearing those extensions for so long!

I can't believe it myself, I must have been involved in some sort of hair-masochism. The constant pulling, weight, and tension around my hairline has created this mess. You can even see in this photo how my edges were thinning.

The bangs I've got goin' on now covers it up most days, but I am paying closest attention to this area to see how wearing SLs helps with this. I can report that at my first re-tightening we were able to begin incorporating hair from that area, so things are filling in. SO, if you are contemplating SLs and were really into the braids like I was, don't live with regret...

INSTEAD, maintain the spirit of my new favorite T! You must check out iloveblackpeople.com. It is crazy to see the different reactions that people have to such a statement, but it reminds me to love myself, and to love those crazy, stumpy, jagged, crooked looking SLs that I need to tenderly care back into health!

Nothing Like Sisterlocked Sistahs!

2006-09-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

I got major encouragement and suport!

onyxcherry wrote:
"There are some advantages to having thin locks that Leighann atested to in a previous blog post. Do you have a Caruso Proset30 because you can create a quick curl in 15 minutes with this steam roller set that will not harm your sisterlocks."

tanya said:
"Hey lady. I hope you aren't giving up on the soft spikes. Too tight must be one of the top 2 commments I hear about soft spikes. Which is good if you want curls that will go the extra mile for several days."

(although I like the drama of the darker, top photo, the flash in the previous two allows you to see the changing texture of my locks after two months).
...and Brunsli added:
"Your dress is very pretty!"

Thanks for all the love y'all. I did try the Carusos yesterday. It turned out real cute (I think), but the curls didn't last that long. Admittedly, I only left them in for 15 minutes, and when I took them out I stretched out on the bed to watch the US Open. The really great thing about the Caruso/ionic steam system is that those curlers make my thin/limp hair look like it has volume and body (kinda like a 'Jonathan-hair' look for my baby sisterlocks...well, at least it felt like that :-)

And NO, I will never give up on the soft spikes! No matter what, I think they are so cool looking and they curl superbly (I just have to better monitor how long I leave them in, and how many locks I put on each curler). The soft spike curls also last a good two days, and as they fall during the third and fourth day, you can still achieve a nice look.

I must mention that I also really liked the dress I wore to that wedding. I bought it many moons ago (and pre-motherhood) while on a trip to Spain, and wore it for the first time to a beautiful wedding in Tuscany.

Finally, someone asked me (in person) about my eyebrows. Apart from much needed grooming, I sometimes lighten the color of brows for some added interest. The change is quite subtle, but it really softens the overall 'look' of the eye.

About Those Soft Spikes...

2006-09-01T09:27:00.000-07:00

I dunno... I soft spiked it again for my good friend's wedding a couple of weekends ago.

We all got ready together, so they had a good time laughing at my 'rooster' like appearance. I thought I looked gorgeous :)

SAY WHAAAAT??!!

The day before we were in a makeup store and I saw a woman there with a very beautiful tight curl. I figured that I could recreate that look by using the smallest curlers, and by using a whole bunch of 'em! Well, my hair did curl, but a bit too tightly, and I ended up with an updo that made my head look slightly square. OK, maybe 'slightly' is an understatement...

After the wedding, we realized that what I was after was the curl pattern created by a straw-set! I've got a lot to learn.....

Thank God For Make-Up Artists!

2006-08-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentleman of the internet community...
Please allow me to introduce the incomparable, the extraordinary 'T' of Superior Style!

This is a rising star in the world of glamour-fication, and a personal stylist whose clients largely include fabulous women of (all) color. 'T' flew out from the biggest borrough in NY to style a friend for her nuptials over the last weekend (coming blog, stay tuned!) and still had time to clip, re-shape, pin up, blow out, and transform a bunch of us along the way. (Below is 'before' y'all)!

We had a great time playing in a very large national make up store (until we were told that photography was forbidden because it somehow hurt the brands!!!??? That is one for Brunsli!). I think that one of the make up artists working there must have heard 'T' advising us that it was not necessary to spend the money buying super-expensive make up or facial care products! (Folks, this man can work wonders with products bought at the local drugstore).

Have you seen an eye smolder like this before? That was a 15 minute make up job! (Check out the 'hater' behind the 'model'! I'm just kidding, that was a good friend also along for the adventure!

It was really wonderful for me to get to know 'T' over the past few years. I have always been interested in hair and make up, but people tend to say that I have dark skin (I personally think that I look just as I am supposed to). Well, in high school, my make up never matched my skin (this was LONG before cosmetic companies ever thought to market to and make products for women of color specifically), and when I was in college I was always told by women at department store make up counters that my skin was so 'nice' that I didn't need make up at all (they would never admit that they didn't make products for people like me! I hate racism.)! I also really hated testing make up in the stores, only to have a consultant suggest a product that would be so 'pretty' on dark skin (usually something called 'plum,' 'raisin,' 'blackberry,' or 'dusk') only to see it turn to the color of chalk as soon as it touched my hand. Since I'm on the topic, let me say one more thing: I also really hate the names 'deep,' 'dark,' 'deepest dark,' 'dark 2' and so forth for foundations and powders. Would white women like to buy products called 'ghost,' 'washed out,' 'anemic,' or 'pale'?

So, when I met 'T' I was very sceptical about him knowing how to work with me, and I was very nervous about some of his choices. BUT WHEN HE WAS DONE, I looked like a stahhh!!!

We also allowed 'T' just a little bit of sightseeing...but just a bit!

We dipped down to Carmel to have a walk and a look around. Y'know, I love to stroll through this very charming little town, they have great restaurants, and cute little shops and boutiques. It can be very romantic and cozy, yes. BUT, we got some pastries and got outta there after a very brief look-see.... (The Tuck House in Carmel is famous obviously for its appearance, but also for its tea and pastries).

The California coast needs no boosterism from me, but I am taken by how dramatic the coast is, both because of the rugged cliffs and the rapidly changing temperature and sky. Sexy!

Every trip along the coast must include a photo stop at this magnificient and impressive bridge. It has appeared in many films, and the beach below is also the site of a famous love scene (I was not in it...).

Nothing like friends (and make up artists)!

LA Trip

2006-08-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

I rolled down to SoCal to visit some good ol' friends of mine from my university days in LaLa Land. I love driving down the coast, and I love having my iPod at my side. Too bad all of the other unlucky drivers stuck in the LA traffic (on a Saturday no less) had to listen to me singing at the top of my lungs (what can I say, Midnite's "Bushman" penetrates deeply!).

After chilling for a few, we headed straight to Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles for dinner. Folks, you have not eaten until you've had their succulent breast and tasty waffle (mine with a side of cornbread). It is always the smartest purchase I make in LA.

We then thought that we'd try out the Hookah Cafe on Pico Blvd. None of us had any idea what we were doing, but the waiter made a real sweet blend for us that actually became too sweet after about 2 minutes! I'm not sure how people manage to do this for an hour, but we had a good laugh and an even better cough!

We were celebrating my friend's coming nuptials and my other friend's graduation (I was just celebrating a weekend off!). After the hookah and hacking, we went to a very swanky hotel in Santa Monica and shared some champagne to really celebrate in style. (We did have one celebrity sighting: the director Tim Burton was sitting to my right out of the frame of the photo below, of course). My friend gave us lockets as a way of saying 'thank you' for our friendship and support. I think that all brides should do something similar for their good gal friends who listen to them and advise them on their relationships (come to think of it, the groom should give us gifts too, especially if they realize that their wives will go to their good friends when they inevitably encounter conflict in the marriage:)

The following day we made a stop at the LA County Museum of Art, always a nice thing to do on a Sunday afternoon. There was a special David Hockney exhibit going on that was actually NOT that interesting, but ok. We met a very interesting woman who worked in the museum (a proud Puerto Rican woman who figured out that my good friend was also from the island based on 'attitude,' hair texture, and our conversation in the bathroom). She told us all about the famous Latin celebrities who visited the exhibit (precisely the kind of info. I am looking for!). We still had fun walking around the exhibit and fantasizing about how much money we needed to donate to get our names chiselled on the wall of donors....

The Last Braid Job?

2006-08-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I really should not be looking at these old pictures, but I went to see the folks over the weekend and was very taken aback when my mom finally admitted that she missed me in the braids! I would never diss my mom publicly and I would never allow anyone to speak poorly about my family, but gee whiz, I was a little hurt. I think that if I weren't in such an awkward phase of the sisterlocking process I would have handled it better (or maybe she wouldn't have said it), but I'm not even too crazy about how the coif looks right now. Oh well. I am still committed to being less focused on what other people think about me (which is no small task, I'm telling you!).

I am still happy I made this decision, and this state of mind was confirmed by the fact that I also braided my mother's hair over the weekend. Now, I learned to braid my own hair because the cost of getting it done was exorbitant, I couldn't stand the lack of professionalism on the part of my braider, I hated feeling so dependent on someone else to take care of my hair, and I hated that I often had to risk my life in the neighborhood where my braider lived and worked (she is extremely talented, but I wanted to live to show off the new do!:) Anyhoo, my female family members closely watched to see how my braiding developed and I ended up giving them VERY inexpensive braid jobs (that would easily cost 500 bucks anywhere else...but it's family, y'know). So last weekend was my very last braid job I hope...don't worry, I will convince my mother yet to sisterlock her stuff too!

Organic Dreads vs. Sisterlocks?

2006-08-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

So I've been following the ongoing online conversations and debates about people's decision to lock their hair (as well as the lively discussions about WHO decides to do so!). Whether or not people consider themselves to be getting closer to their 'cultural roots' or to be freeing themselves from the tyranny of chemical processing and marathon braiding or twisting sessions, the choice to lock one's hair provokes a lot of commentary from friends, family, and strangers alike. I thought that the transition to sisterlocks would be simple for me because I was accustomed to wearing my hair in microbraids. Although people have repeatedly said that sisterlocks and braids are entirely different things, that information went in one of my ears and out the other. My hair is going through a crazy stage right now, but I remain committed to working on my own obsession with how other people perceive me and my own sense of my self.

My friend and colleague in the picture below has a similar background to me, growing up a minority in majority white areas...the complexities of integration :) His mother also responded strongly to his decision to dread his hair, and he spent many an evening dodging scissors and clippers. He started his locks himself around age 12 and has been wearing them for over ten years. He was also the first brotha to complement my change to sisterlocks (I accepted the complement but I wonder why he never commented on all of my various braid jobs?! :)